Second Grade Online

So, While I was Sleeping....(Or, They Killed The Clot Before It Killed Me.)

2009-03-05T18:36:00.005-05:00

You know, I just don't find updating this blog as interesting as I used to. I can be found at http://www.tinytunesdjs.blogspot.com/ with some tips for weddings and parties, for my business, Tiny Tunes Mobile Music. Not getting up at 4am has messed with my muse, I think. I still have thoughts, and opinions, but I just don't feel like commiting them to bits and bytes....

Either that, or it's the medications I'm on. Let me recap, for those without a scorecard....

Mid November, I spent a weekend with what I thought was bad gas. After not being able to sleep on Saturday, and sleeping away the morning on a Sunday, I decided to go to RediMed. They checked my blood and my urine (and noted that the two fluids were intermingling) and sent me across the street to Lutheran Hospital, where they promptly admitted me. Turns out that the gas pains I had been experiencing....was actually appendicitis. My appendix was ready to burst. But that wasn't the only news......

My blood sugar was at 507. To give you some indication of what exactly that means, keep in mind that the NORMAL range is 80-120, and anything above 350 should send you to the doctor immediately, and could cause you to slip into a coma.

Nine days (and tens of thousands of dollars) later, I left the hospital, a confirmed diabetic, with all the corresponding medications coursing through my bloodstream.....AND with my appendix intact. My sugar levels were so high, they didn't want to operate....and by the time they got the diabetes under control, my appendix attack had subsided. Dodged the bullet (well, actually, the scalpel) on that one.

Fast forward to the first weekend in February. Had some pain in my left leg. Felt like a charley horse. Now although I've been watching what I eat, and when I eat it (as per the diabetic regimen) anyone that knows me will tell you I have a tendency to push myself too hard sometimes. Besides, the charley horse came and went. No reason to be concerned, or to disappoint people that I had made commitments to, right? So I downed some Gatorade (potassium, and electrolytes--good for a charley horse, right?) went to the Northrop Show Choir invitational, and MCed all day. THEN I went to the Down the Line show at the Embassy. THEN on Sunday, I made an appearance at the FW Boat Show and Sale. THEN, with the leg still hurting, I decided, once again to visit my friends at RediMed. (Note to self: don't GO to RediMed on Sunday.) Once again, they sent me across the street, this time to access imaging equipment that they didn't have.

The upshoot of that trip? A blood clot from below my left knee to my groin. Could have killed me...not to get all dramatic, but that's what they told me. They caught it, and stuck a wire in my leg to break up the clot....them put me on heparin....ten days later, I left the hospital (tens of thousands of dollars later again) with a screen inplanted in the vein in my leg, and MORE medications to take on an ongoing basis. Can't drink....can't eat most greens....so there's some good, and some bad. (smiles)

So here I am, still limping slightly when the leg gets tired (after being immobile, it got a little weak) and plotting the future. Coumadin is my friend. I feel lucky to be alive, when I have friends that haven't been so lucky with both the diabetes, and blood clots. It's given me a slightly different outlook on life, and what you should do with it.

To all my friends, thank you for the support, and well wishes. If you are my friend, and are just learning of my recent journey, know that I didn't slight you--it was a combination of Vicodin, and morphine, and those late night pokings and proddings, that prevented me from contacting you. But I appreciate all of you.

I hope to see you on the radio soon!

--TINY

IT LIVES!!!!!!!

2008-09-16T11:35:00.005-04:00

Got blown out of my full-time job at work, so I now have some time to blog again. Still working part time, and doing lots of remotes with my friend Shelly Barter. Looking for another full time position, but in the meantime, going out and doing these remotes is a good way to make a buck, and pass the time.

What do we talk about at a remote broadcast? Well, at our most recent outing, at All Star Sports Bar (the back room at Pieres) the following topics came up (some prompted by one of the patrons, some just randomly thrown out there)--

Drawerless whores (I swear you could see her tonsils in that short, short skirt)
Spunk on the windshield and in the hair (think There's Something About Mary)
The shaving of the beaver (votes pro and con are welcome in comments here)
Why there aren't any Cowboys fans around here (well, except for the obvious fact that the team sucks, and Jerry Jones is a total egomaniac)

Join us at a future event, and join in on the dialogue, won't you?

Buy The Soundtrack. (Or, I Know What Christmas Is All About, Charlie Brown.)

2007-12-24T16:12:00.000-05:00

Luke 2:8-14 (King James Version)
8And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
9And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
12And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
14Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Charlie Brown was right....Christmas is becoming too commercial. Am I right? I said, am I right?

Hug a friend or loved one today, and take time to reflect on the good things in life, and how much we have been given.

Merry Christmas (or the holiday greeting of your choosing.)

The Snow Turned Into Rain. (Or, RIP Dan Fogelberg.)

2007-12-16T23:55:00.000-05:00

From DanFogelberg.com.

Dear friends,Dan left us this morning at 6:00am . He fought a brave battle with cancer and died peacefully at home in Maine with his wife Jean at his side. His strength, dignity, and grace in the face of the daunting challenges of this disease were an inspiration to all who knew him.

Dan Fogelberg was diagnosed in 2004 with prostate cancer. I remember hearing about his decision to stop recording and touring after being diagnosed, and then thought nothing more about it, frankly, until I read this today.

Guys, go get checked. I'm going to.

Some might paint Dan Fogelberg's music as lightweight pop. I prefer to think it's folk-infused classic country rock. Whatever the label you happen to put on it, there is no denying the talent of the man to create timeless music. One of the few things my ex-wife and I can agree on. When I hear Dan's music, I'm taken in my mind to the Pearl Street Mall in Boulder Colorado... with a light dusting of snow under clear Colorado skies. Dan's music consistently had the ability to paint a picture, and put you in it, like few artists can. I recommend the Greatest Hits two-disc package for a good retrospective of his music.

The holidays without the reflection of 'Another Auld Lang Syne'? Sad indeed. Rest in peace, Dan.

News From East Tennessee. (Or, Could This Be Fred Thompson? )

2007-10-08T14:04:00.000-04:00

A young farmboy from Tennesee goes off to college, but half way through
the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money.

He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education
is developing! They actually have a program here in Knoxville that will
teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get
him in the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy
calls home. "So how's Ol' Blue doing, son," his father asks. "Awesome,
Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this
- they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals
how to read!"

"Read!" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that
program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of
the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read.
So he shoots the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
"Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just
before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked
back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually
does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing'
around with that little redhead who lives in town?' "

The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that dog before he talks to your
Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!"

The kid went on to be a successful lawyer...eventually giving up his
practice and going into politics.

RIP HK. (And CBGB & OMFUG, Too.)

2007-08-29T18:59:00.000-04:00

From The New York Times.

“Hilly Kristal, who founded CBGB, the Bowery bar that became the cradle of punk and art-rock in New York in the 1970s and served as the inspiration for musician-friendly rock dives throughout the world, died in Manhattan on Tuesday. He was 75. His son, Mark Dana Kristal, told The Associated Press that the cause was complications from lung cancer. ... Besides his son, Mr. Kristal is survived by a daughter, Lisa Kristal Burgman, and two grandchildren.”

A man who set out to do something (create a country and bluegrass bar in New York).....got sidetracked along the way....and instead helped create the legendary punk rock bar, and inspire and promote a host of legendary bands. I like to think of the rugby bar (at least in its earlier, dirtier incarnation) as a midwestern stepchild of CBGBs.

Rest in peace, Hilly.

As Long As You've Got Their Attention. (Or, I Like To Probe Deep Into What Love Is.)

2007-07-29T22:27:00.000-04:00

Too busy to write much....plus, the muse has left me, too. Maybe once things slow down....

In the meantime, contemplate love from behind.

The New Hilton Rewards Program. (Or, Paris Is Free.)

2007-06-07T11:15:00.000-04:00

Paris Hilton has been released from jail this morning.....

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Paris Hilton was let out of jail Thursday morning, days after she began serving what was to have been a 45-day sentence for violating probation, a spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department said.
Hilton must wear a monitoring bracelet and remain at her home for another 40 days, said sheriff's department spokesman Steve Whitmore.
Medical considerations "played a part" in the decision to offer Hilton home confinement for the remainder of her sentence, Whitmore said.
He said privacy rules prohibited him from giving details about the medical issues, but celebrity Web site TMZ.com earlier quoted sources saying Hilton was refusing to eat much of the jail food served her.
Whitmore said that after "extensive consultation with medical personnel" it was decided to offer Hilton "reassignment" to home confinement, which she and her attorneys accepted.
Part of the deal was that her original sentence of 45 days, which had been reduced to 23 days if she showed good behavior behind bars, would be restored to the full length. Although she reported to the jail just before midnight Sunday and departed in the early hours of Thursday, she was given credit for five days, he said.

You know, it struck me....that even Jesus had to stay in for three whole days, before they let him out........

Staying A Breast Of The News. (Or, TIt's All True.)

2007-05-30T16:35:00.001-04:00

From ABC News. Yes, the one that once employed Howard K. Smith, Harry Reasoner, and David Brinkley. Oh, and Frank Reynolds. THAT ABC News.

May 29, 2007 —
The weather's getting warmer and necklines are dipping lower -- sometimes, too low.
From the beach to the mall to the office, women seem to be showing off their cleavage more than ever before. Why? According to Elisabeth Squires, author of "Boobs: A Guide to Your Girls," American breasts are getting bigger while shirts are getting smaller.
"We are seeing more cleavage these days for a few reasons. First, the fashion of the day is tight and skinny. At the same time, women are bigger than they were even 15 years ago. Bra fitters tell me that an E cup is the new C cup," Squires said on "Good Morning America."
"We have to remember that while more women are showing more cleavage, you really have to use your breast power responsibly," Squires said.
What's Appropriate When
What looks sexy for a night out on the town may not be appropriate in the workplace. In fact, Squires said cleavage should never make an appearance in the office.
"It's way too big of a distraction for men and women," she said. "If cleavage isn't in your job description, don't put it in."
But that doesn't mean breasts should stay hidden. According to Squires, the appearance of breasts can help women in the workplace.
"A recent study showed men photos of women in a workplace with large breasts showing cleavage, medium breasts and small breasts. When asked about who looked most professional and personable, the men chose the women with medium-sized breasts," she said.
"You don't have to be flat-chested to be taken seriously," she added. "You just have to be proportionate. For women who are small busted, that may mean a little padding. For well-endowed women, that may mean a minimizer."
Squires suggested that women also keep things respectable at family events, like a kids' soccer game.
"This is not the time to show off your girls," she said. "Your children should not have to compete with your cleavage for attention."
Night is prime time to bring out breasts, but Squires suggested women treat their cleavage as part of their outfit -- not a focal point.
"You can certainly be a bit more daring," she said. "This presumably is adult time, and cleavage is powerful. This is the time to use it. But they should be part of your whole look."
Pregnant women are an exception to the rules. Squires said because pregnancy gives breasts a boost they might not have otherwise, women should show them off.
"During pregnancy you should celebrate your breasts. For some women, that's the only time they have cleavage," she said. "Obviously you don't want to go nuts. But cleavage on a pregnant woman is just different -- live it up a bit."
Squires said women of a certain age can still show off cleavage, as 61-year-old Helen Mirren proved at the Oscars.
"It has to be integrated into your entire look," she said. "If a woman of a certain age squeezes her girls together, she'll get the wrinkled, crepelike look. That's not good. But if you're older and you wear a scoop neck and you have beautiful, what the French call decollete, that's great."

And from the same story online--Tips for Every Woman
Squires offered advice all women can heed to make their breasts look better:
Don't be in bra denial. The average woman changes bra sizes at least seven times in her life. Get fitted and accept your number and cup size.
Think outside the bra. A strong back and shoulders -- good carriage -- makes your whole body look better, including your breasts. Don't concentrate so much on your underwiring. Concentrate on the rest of your body.
Be good to your girls. Breasts are unique, and the truth is that men love them all. Be more accepting of your body. Most women think breasts only come in two sizes: too big or too small. It's not true. They're beautiful; be good to them.

Picture Your Baby. (Or, How Wide Is That Aperature?)

2007-05-25T08:19:00.000-04:00

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now; the man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..." Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh ...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted.........

You Gotta Eat. (Or, Thank Heaven We Don't Have 7-11.)

2007-05-25T05:26:00.000-04:00

OCEAN CITY , MD-- Last Monday around 3 a.m., Michael Autry, 27, of Bel Air, Md., walked into the 7-11 store on 94th Street. Autry, who was intoxicated, police said, took a bag of chips and three bottles of Gatorade and brought them to the counter.
When the clerk told him how much he owed, Autry was only able to produce one dollar bill. The clerk told him it was not enough. Autry became frustrated and pulled out a baggie of suspected marijuana out of his pocket, police said. He reached into the bag and put about half of it on the counter.
The clerk told him he would not accept marijuana as payment and told him he was calling the police. At that point, Autry became angry and allegedly smashed one of the bottles on the counter, breaking the bottle and spilling the drink on the floor. He then ran from the store, leaving the merchandise and marijuana behind.

Hey....it makes sense to me. You're hungry....you don't have any money...you try to make a trade. Maybe that's why they call it 'dealing' drugs.....

Let Are Kids Walk. (Or, A Second Generation of Dumbasses.)

2007-05-25T05:12:00.000-04:00

By DARLA MILES / WFAA-TV

FORT WORTH — Students who had been planning to walk across the stage at graduation ceremonies this weekend were instead walking a picket line Thursday morning.
The Trimble Tech High School seniors marched in front of Fort Worth Independent School District headquarters to protest Wednesday's decision by trustees to bar students who failed the TAKS test from commencement exercises.
About a dozen young people, carrying signs and chanting, began picketing at 8:30 a.m. Thursday. They represent the 613 Fort Worth seniors who did not pass the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills exam.
Crystal Martinez complained that while she finished at the top of her class with a 3.5 grade point average, she is now blocked from graduation by failing the TAKS test.
"We know we're not going to get our diplomas, but we just want to walk across the stage," Martinez said. "That's all we ask for right now."
Classmate Chloe Walker agreed. "I believe that I have at least the right to walk the stage with all my friends," she said. "I made it this far, and I have all my credits I need. I deserve to get my certificate of completion."
School officials said non-graduating seniors will have a chance to take the TAKS test again in July. If they pass, they can participate in a separate commencement exercise in August.
The Trimble students said they planned to continue their protest through the day, and may be joined by other students.

Just for future reference, kids.....When making a case that you (or your kids) should be allowed to graduate, despite having failed a basic skills test....Make sure you spell all FOUR of the words on the protest signs correctly. Makes a much stronger case.

Just a tip from your ol' Uncle Tiny here.

Saturday....Wait, No, Sunday In The Park. (Or, Something To Do This Summer.)

2007-05-22T17:13:00.000-04:00

(Award winning--all of his other work is, why shouldn't this one be?--poster design by Matt Kelley at One Lucky Guitar)
Tell your friends and neighbors. If you're old enough to remember what it was like to have free live music at Freimann Square, you'll enjoy this series...and so will your kids. If you're not old enough, come out and experience a slice of Fort Wayne....resurrected. THIS is the real home of classic rock and roll....and for the four Sundays in June, it will be again. Come out and party with us!
(To see the details more clearly, click on the poster. God, what a drag it is getting old, as the Stones once sang. )

Why I Want To Play Guitar. (Or, Even Better Than Liquor.)

2007-05-11T12:40:00.000-04:00

A Thought For The Day. (Or, The World's Biggest Pessimist.)

2007-05-11T10:50:00.000-04:00

You ever notice how rainbows are shaped like frowns?

--Dan Gurewitch

Your Blonde Joke Of The Day.

2007-05-09T14:45:00.000-04:00

A BLONDE'S CAR GETS A FLAT TIRE ON THE INTERSTATE ONE DAY SO SHE EASES IT OVER ONTO THE SHOULDER OF THE ROAD. SHE CAREFULLY STEPS OUT OF THE CAR AND OPENS THE TRUNK. TAKES OUT TWO CARDBOARD MEN, UNFOLDS THEM AND STANDS THEM AT THE REAR OF THE VEHICLE FACING ONCOMING TRAFFIC.

THE LIFE LIKE CARDBOARD MEN ARE IN TRENCH COATS EXPOSING THEIR NUDE BODIES TO APPROACHING DRIVERS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, THE TRAFFIC BECAME SNARLED AND BACKED UP. IT WASN'T VERY LONG BEFORE A POLICE CAR ARRIVES. THE OFFICER, CLEARLY ENRAGED, APPROACHES THE BLONDE OF THE DISABLED VEHICLE YELLING, "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

"MY CAR BROKE DOWN, OFFICER" SAYS THE WOMAN, CALMLY.

"WELL, WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE OBSCENE CARDBOARD PICTURES DOING HERE BY THE ROAD?!" ASKS THE OFFICER.

"HELLLLLOOOOO, THOSE ARE MY EMERGENCY FLASHERS!"

I typed this joke in all capital letters....so that blondes could read it more easily.

(If you're a blonde....especially if you're a tall, busty one...call me and I'll take you to dinner and explain the joke.....)

Two Thoughts For The Day, For Tomorrow. (Or, 30 Is The New 21.)

2007-05-03T13:25:00.000-04:00

Just because someone doesn't love you in the way you want them to,
doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they've got.

and....

True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist,
Nor can it be hidden where it truly does.

HBTTGFKAP.....

My Sympathies To The REAL Victims. (Or, My Heart Goes Out To The Virginia Tech Families.)

2007-04-18T07:08:00.000-04:00

With the recent tragedy at Virginia Tech, I find it incredible that someone would look up my post of December 2005 regarding a standoff here in Fort Wayne, and comment on it. But they did. Here's my original post from this blog.....

A Thought For The Day. (Or, Don't Point A Fucking Gun At The Cops If You Want To Live.)

From WPTA-TV, December 2005.
The family of a Fort Wayne man killed in a police action shooting last summer is suing the Fort Wayne Police Department.The family of Rudy Escobedo says his constitutional rights were violated by two officers who shot and killed Escobedo in his apartment on West Berry Street at the end of a standoff last July.The Allen County prosecutor has said the officers killed Escobedo in self-defense when he pointed a gun at them.

My original comment on the news story.....

Ok....I didn't comment (here) when the original incident happened. And I didn't comment (here) recently when the guy got gunned down at the airport. But this drove me over the edge. So here goes the rant......YOU HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO GET COKED UP AND WAVE A GUN AT POLICE OFFICERS. You have no right to ignore your medication, get on a plane, mutter about having a bomb, ignore police orders to get on the ground, and reach for what you have purported to be a potentially explosive device. IF YOU DO THESE THINGS, THE OFFICERS--BEING DULY SWORN TO PROTECT AND TO SERVE--WILL QUITE POSSIBLY BLOW YOUR STUPID ASS INTO THE NEXT LIFE.Fuck the guy on the plane. Bi-polar or not....immigrant or not....if an officer points a gun at you and tells you to get the fuck down, DO IT. No sympathy.As far as the asshole (the poor, hurting Rudy Escobedo) that got coked up, barricaded himself in his apartment, hid in a closet, affected a police standoff, and waved a gun at the officers? FUCK HIM. He deserved to get splattered across the wall. His "constiutional rights" ended when he started the event in motion. I have a constitutional right to go to the mall unimpeded. I have a constitutional right to carry a firearm. What I do NOT have a right to is to go into the mall and start shooting. He chose to act irresponsibly...and suffered the consequences. Too fucking bad. No sympathy...and certainly no support for a lawsuit.

So this morning, someone visited my blog and left this message anonymously....

There are two sides to every story; therefore, unless you were there to witness the actual facts of what happened, then I think a little compassion could be used in your wording. I hope someday you have children and you value the mistkes they make...that you can fix yourself. The mistakes, like Rudy's, that you may not be able to fix...well that is unfortunate, but show some feeling to the grieving family. People sue for all sorts of silly reasons...this one-well they are mortified and are looking for closure.
4/18/2007 4:50 AM

And my reply....there, and here...

Thanks for stopping by. A year and a half late, but thanks just the same.

With time comes...well, either compassion, or apathy. I don't regret either the thoughts, or the wording of my post, both of which at the time were appropriate. In the wake of the Virginia Tech shootings, I have to say that my attitude hasn't changed. I don't care much to 'show any feeling to the grieving family'(edit: the same family that filed the lawsuit, thereby erasing any sympathy I might have had.) I understand their feelings of loss, but can't help but to think about what might have happened if the "victim" in this incident had gone on a rampage, and shot the officers, or a neighbor--or 32. THEN who should I feel sorry for?

Rudy Escobedo made poor choices, as I pointed out in December of 2005, and he paid for them with his life. Still no sympathy, and no support for the lawsuit.

Appreciate your input.

A Thought For The Day.

2007-04-18T06:02:00.000-04:00

The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.
- Joseph Priestley

Don't even ask.

In unrelated news, tomorrow is the reunion of the No-Love Thursday Mutual Aid and Drinking Society. I won't be attending until after the first pitch at the Wizards game; however, I believe that the festivities begin at 4. Join us, won't you? Henry's, on Main Street.

A Great Place To Be. (Or, A Long Overdue Honor.)

2007-04-16T07:08:00.000-04:00

National Radio Hall of Fame Announces 2007 Nominees
A highly competitive field of nominees was announced recently for induction into America’s only National Radio Hall of Fame (NRHOF), housed at The Museum of Broadcast Communications (MBC) in Chicago.
"Our 2007 list of National Radio Hall of Fame nominees includes immensely talented personalities who have entertained and informed radio audiences from New York, to Fort Wayne to San Francisco," said MBC President Bruce DuMont. "The list also includes several great female broadcasters and minority representation that underscores the diversity of talent in the radio industry," DuMont added.
Winners in each of the following categories will be inducted during a national radio broadcast from Chicago on Saturday, November 3. ABC Radio will produce and distribute the one-hour broadcast at 10 p.m. EST.
The 2007 nominees for induction into the NRHOF include:
LOCAL OR REGIONAL – PIONEER
Bob Collins (deceased), a fixture on WGN/Chicago for over 25 years, and a top-rated, much-loved morning show host from 1986 until his death in 2000.
Dan Ingram, rock radio pioneer on WABC/New York and eventually WCBS-FM, considered by some as the best top-40 DJ of all time.
Bob Sievers, the legendary morning announcer on WOWO/Fort Wayne, Ind., who helped start the station while still in high school and spent almost 50 years on the air.
Rufus Thomas (deceased), a professional entertainer since the mid-1930s, who made his mark as a deejay on WDIA/Memphis, which was the first station in the south to feature an all black format.

The voice of "The Voice of a Thousand Main Streets" is a man that has been a constant source of inspiration, from getting my lazy ass out of bed and off to school every morning, to making me want to pursue the crazy career path I'm currently on. My biggest compliment in my professional career was when Bob came to my station in 1992 and told me that he had listened to my morning show, and that he thought I was doing a good job. Strong praise from a man that retired with a 40 share of the audience, and the respect and affection of hundreds of thousands of people from "38 states and around the world."

A man that was the voice of the community, and the heart of a legendary radio station, Bob deserves this award. I hope he's honored this year, and wanted to bring the nomination to the attention of all. It's all too rare that such honors are bestowed while the honorees are around to accept them, and Bob should enjoy the accolades after a legendary career.

If you'd like to vote, for $15 you can join the NRHOF at radiohof.com and make your voice heard. I'm going to send the fifteen bucks and add my voice to Bob's cause, and I encourage you to do the same.

Congratulations, Bob Sievers!

Your Song Of Inspiration. (Or, Just Take Those Old Records Off The Shelf.)

2007-04-15T17:53:00.000-04:00

From Amazon.com.

Saxophonist Jr. Walker was the most gutbucket of Motown's consistent '60s hit makers. Even when trying his hardest to conform to label formulas ("What Does It Take [To Win Your Love]," "Gotta Hold On to This Feeling"), he sounded like he'd be just as much at home in the backroom of a barbecue joint.

My kind of guy....great, classic R&B...and conjuring up thoughts of BBQ doesn't hurt either. Jr. Walker, for the non-musicologists, was also the man blowing a killer sax on Foreigners "Urgent". What Does It Take is possibly my favorite song of all time...all while clocking in at a shade over two minutes. A true classic.

Junior Walker and the All Stars--What Does It Take (To Win Your Love)
(Johnny Bristol, Harvey Fuqua, Vernon Bullock)

[Instrumental Interlude]

What does it take
to win your love for me?
How can I make
this dream come true for me?
Whoa I just got to know
ooo, baby cause I love ya so.
Gonna blow for ya

[Instrumental Interlude]

I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried,
in every way I could,
to make you see how much I love you.
Ooo, I thought you understood.
So you gotta make me see,
what does it take to win your love for me?
Gonna blow again for ya

[Instrumental Interlude]

Another Ho In The News. (Or, RIP Don.)

2007-04-14T23:11:00.000-04:00

World-renowned entertainer Don Ho died this morning, officials confirmed.
He was 76.
Ho suffered a heart attack about 10:15 a.m. at his Waikiki home, and was transported in critical condition to The Queen's Medical Center, officials said. He died at the hospital, officials said.
In late 2005, Ho underwent an experimental stem cell procedure in Bangkok to strengthen his heart.
Ho's health improved after the surgery and in October 2006 was able to return to the Waikiki Beachcomber Hotel, where he performed twice a week.
Ho, a 1949 Kamehameha Schools graduate, got his start at Honey's restaurant in the 1960s to attract customers to his mother's waning Kane'ohe business.
He gained prominence while singing at the now-defunct Duke Kahanamoku's in Waikiki from 1964 to 1970. The lounge was a hot spot for local and visiting entertainers, who would stop in to watch Ho perform or join him on stage.
His fame spread to the Mainland after he appeared at the Coconut Grove in Los Angeles in 1966.
His sold-out shows led to appearances at the Sands in Las Vegas, Harrah's at Lake Tahoe and at hot spots in New York and Chicago. He also made guest appearances with Johnny Carson, Joey Bishop and Art Linkletter.
Honolulu Mayor Mufi Hannemann said this afternoon, "Don was a personal friend of my family because I come from a family of musicians. He was definitely an icon. He will be sorely missed."

Thoughts For The Day.

2007-04-13T05:24:00.000-04:00

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
--John Lennon

And....

If you throw a cat out the car window, does it become kitty litter??

Happy Friday.

Everything Is Beautiful, And Nothing Hurts. (Or, RIP Kurt Vonnegut.)

2007-04-12T06:41:00.000-04:00

Kurt Vonnegut was a Hoosier writer that transcended all borders, and became a literary icon. I remember reading his work in high school, and being immediately fascinated (and this in a time when our advisor, editing a review of Cat's Cradle in our high school newspaper wouldn't let us print the word 'damn' in a quote from the book....ah, for the simpler times of yore.)
Grumpy and acerbic, Vonnegut nonetheless has much to say to us all. If you've never read his work, I suggest going to the library and getting one of his books. Or better yet, go to the bookstore and pick up a copy of your own. I suggest Slaughterhouse Five.

So it goes.

From the Associated Press.
NEW YORK - Kurt Vonnegut, the satirical novelist who captured the absurdity of war and questioned the advances of science in darkly humorous works such as "Slaughterhouse-Five" and "Cat's Cradle," died Wednesday. He was 84.

Vonnegut, who often marveled that he had lived so long despite his lifelong smoking habit, had suffered brain injuries after a fall at his Manhattan home weeks ago, said his wife, photographer Jill Krementz.

The author of at least 19 novels, many of them best-sellers, as well as dozens of short stories, essays and plays, Vonnegut relished the role of a social critic. Indianapolis, his hometown, declared 2007 as "The Year of Vonnegut" — an announcement he said left him "thunderstruck."

He lectured regularly, exhorting audiences to think for themselves and delighting in barbed commentary against the institutions he felt were dehumanizing people.

"I will say anything to be funny, often in the most horrible situations," Vonnegut, whose watery, heavy-lidded eyes and unruly hair made him seem to be in existential pain, once told a gathering of psychiatrists.

A self-described religious skeptic and freethinking humanist, Vonnegut used protagonists such as Billy Pilgrim and Eliot Rosewater as transparent vehicles for his points of view. He also filled his novels with satirical commentary and even drawings that were only loosely connected to the plot. In "Slaughterhouse-Five," he drew a headstone with the epitaph: "Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt."

But much in his life was traumatic, and left him in pain.

Despite his commercial success, Vonnegut battled depression throughout his life, and in 1984, he attempted suicide with pills and alcohol, joking later about how he botched the job.

"I think he was a man who combined a wicked sense of humor and sort of steady moral compass, who was always sort of looking at the big picture of the things that were most important," said Joel Bleifuss, editor of In These Times, a liberal magazine based in Chicago that featured Vonnegut articles.

His mother killed herself just before he left for Germany during World War II, where he was quickly taken prisoner during the Battle of the Bulge. He was being held in Dresden when Allied bombs created a firestorm that killed an estimated tens of thousands of people.

"The firebombing of Dresden explains absolutely nothing about why I write what I write and am what I am," Vonnegut wrote in "Fates Worse Than Death," his 1991 autobiography of sorts.

But he spent 23 years struggling to write about the ordeal, which he survived by huddling with other POW's inside an underground meat locker labeled slaughterhouse-five.

The novel, in which Pvt. Pilgrim is transported from Dresden by time-traveling aliens from the planet Tralfamadore, was published at the height of the Vietnam War, and solidified his reputation as an iconoclast.

"He was sort of like nobody else," said Gore Vidal, who noted that he, Vonnegut and Norman Mailer were among the last writers around who served in World War II.

"He was imaginative; our generation of writers didn't go in for imagination very much. Literary realism was the general style. Those of us who came out of the war in the 1940s made it sort of the official American prose, and it was often a bit on the dull side. Kurt was never dull."

Vonnegut was born on Nov. 11, 1922, in Indianapolis, a "fourth-generation German-American religious skeptic Freethinker," and studied chemistry at Cornell University before joining the Army.

When he returned, he reported for Chicago's City News Bureau, then did public relations for General Electric, a job he loathed. He wrote his first novel, "Player Piano," in 1951, followed by "The Sirens of Titan," "Canary in a Cat House" and "Mother Night," making ends meet by selling Saabs on Cape Cod.

Critics ignored him at first, then denigrated his deliberately bizarre stories and disjointed plots as haphazardly written science fiction. But his novels became cult classics, especially "Cat's Cradle" in 1963, in which scientists create "ice-nine," a crystal that turns water solid and destroys the earth.

Many of his novels were best-sellers. Some also were banned and burned for suspected obscenity. Vonnegut took on censorship as an active member of the PEN writers' aid group and the American Civil Liberties Union. The American Humanist Association, which promotes individual freedom, rational thought and scientific skepticism, made him its honorary president.

His characters tended to be miserable anti-heros with little control over their fate. Vonnegut said the villains in his books were never individuals, but culture, society and history, which he said were making a mess of the planet.

"We probably could have saved ourselves, but we were too damned lazy to try very hard... and too damn cheap," he once suggested carving into a wall on the Grand Canyon, as a message for flying-saucer creatures.

He retired from novel writing in his later years, but continued to publish short articles. He had a best-seller in 2005 with "A Man Without a Country," a collection of his nonfiction work, including jabs at the Bush administration ("upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography") and the uncertain future of the planet.

He called the book's success "a nice glass of champagne at the end of a life."

In recent years, Vonnegut worked as a senior editor and columnist at In These Times. Bleifuss said he had been trying to get Vonnegut to write something more for the magazine, but was unsuccessful.

"He would just say he's too old and that he had nothing more to say. He realized, I think, he was at the end of his life," Bleifuss said.

Vonnegut, who had homes in Manhattan and the Hamptons in New York, adopted his sister's three young children after she died. He also had three children of his own with his first wife, Ann Cox, and later adopted a daughter, Lily, with his second wife, the noted photographer Jill Krementz.

Vonnegut once said that of all the ways to die, he'd prefer to go out in an airplane crash on the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro. He often joked about the difficulties of old age.

"When Hemingway killed himself he put a period at the end of his life; old age is more like a semicolon," Vonnegut told The Associated Press in 2005.

"My father, like Hemingway, was a gun nut and was very unhappy late in life. But he was proud of not committing suicide. And I'll do the same, so as not to set a bad example for my children."

A Thought For The Day.

2007-04-06T06:59:00.000-04:00

"Why is it always the knife?"
--Our waitress yesterday at lunch at Liberty Diner, as my steak knife slipped off the plate and fell on the table.

I'm sure that there's probably a logical reason (possibly because of the additional weight of the handle, or because the fork and spoon are better balanced) but it DOES seem that it's always the knife.

Don't know what it means...but it's something to ponder.

A Lesson Learned. (Or, Watch Your Ass.)

2007-04-06T06:56:00.000-04:00

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles are a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.

Give more.

Expect less

NOW ............

Enough of that crap . The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

Ask About Them Today!

2007-04-03T18:57:00.000-04:00

I don't want this blog to become an advertising vehicle, but I want you to know about a new offering....Tiny Bubbles Bubble Parties. If you have young children, check out www.tinytunesdjs.com and find out more. It's lots of fun...and the kids seem to enjoy it too! (smiles)

Ok, enough of the commercials.....Now back to the program.....

You Can't Go Home. (Or, RIP Pavilion. My Babies and I Thank You.)

2007-04-03T18:44:00.000-04:00

The sad pictures are dated December 2006, January and February 2007.

This building, and the amusement park area that shared its name, was literally the origin of the Grand Strand, and the heart (some would say the soul as well) of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

The very first place I took my kids to the ocean. The place where their love of skee-ball and coin-operated games was born. The place where my littlest bear tried numerous times (without success) to run into the ocean, wearing her Ron Jon sweatshirt and a diaper. The place where we sat on the bench, next to the historic pipe organ, and enjoyed ice cream in the middle of winter. The place where Willy The Whale was the king of the children's rides. Literally one of the few things I enjoyed about my time in South Carolina.

Across from Peaches Corner and the Bowery and down the street from the Gay Dolphin Gift Shop now, is a vacant lot with red Carolina dirt. Or maybe the ground's just colored from all the hearts that have bled over the destruction of this Myrtle Beach landmark. The amusement park's gone, too...they finished the destruction of the Hurricane roller coaster just a few weeks ago.

Rest in peace, Pavilion. Know that you live on in the memories of thousands of Grand Strand visitors.

But Then Again, Maybe You CAN Go Home. (Or, NLT Beckons.)

2007-04-03T18:43:00.000-04:00

NLT Reunion Tour 2007
Henry’s (the mahogany bar) starting at 4pm
Thursday (goes without saying)April 19th 2007
Semi-formal dress
Less than Formal Behavior

From a name you know and trust,

JOHN Q. PUBLIC.

A Thought For The Day.

2007-03-30T09:01:00.000-04:00

Sometimes people put up walls not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down.

--Anonymous

Smoke John Crawford Out Of Office. (Or, Ten Thousand (Chili Soup) Spoons.)

2007-03-30T08:51:00.000-04:00

Has anyone else noticed the irony of a Re-elect John Crawford sign....on the side of the National Cigar Store downtown?

Go check it out on your way to the neighboring Coney Island. Tell Cathy at CI that you heard about them from a LOCAL radio guy....and that you've never heard the satellite radio station (the one playing behind the counter, that replaced their radios) mention their business on the air even ONCE.

Just a peeve of mine...
I've only been in one time since I saw the new satellite radio. Why support local businesses that don't support me?

I might even have to start going regularly to Dog and Suds. Or Sonic....

Happy Birthday Amanda.

2007-03-20T11:40:00.000-04:00

Heading off later today/early tomorrow morning to play at a Sweet 16 party. It's the most important event I'll play at this year.

Happy birthday tomorrow to my Nubbin, whom I love (along with her sister) more than anything else in the world. I'll see you soon!

Coming Soon, and Days Gone By. (Or, Another Website To Surf.)

2007-03-20T11:30:00.000-04:00

Add it to your favorites now!

www.tinytunesdjs.com

On to the more general interest stuff (after all, most of you know of my interest in history)....Here's a couple of uncredited pictures of the Old Crown Brewery and the Spy Run curve before the buildings came down, and the curve was straightened and widened. How we ever managed to get traffic through that area is still a mystery to me...

Marines. They Don't Make Em Like They Used Ta. (Or, Semper Fi.)

2007-03-09T06:54:00.000-05:00

LETTER FROM A GEORGIA FARM KID (NOW AT MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING)

Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are.

Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Mary Alice

A Thought For The Day. (His Museum's in St. Petersburg, By The Way. Stop In Sometime.)

2007-03-09T06:53:00.000-05:00

"Have no fear of perfection-you'll never reach it."-Salvador Dali

Any Port In A Storm. Well, ALMOST Any Port.

2007-03-01T07:20:00.000-05:00

A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck," he says to himself, "I really want a drink!"
When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your penis?"
The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that shit, all I want is a drink"!
The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because 'It really Satisfies."
The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he'll give him a second to think it over. The cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who's sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"
The man looks back and says with a smile "Timex."
The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the fella on his right, who's sipping a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you call yours?"
The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because "Quality is Job One." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"
Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is SECRET. Now give me a beer!"
The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?" The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"

Happy Birthday, Don Pardo. This Is Tiny Speaking.

2007-02-22T06:37:00.000-05:00

From Wikipedia.
Don Pardo (born Dominick George Pardo on February 22, 1918 in Westfield, Massachusetts) is a legendary radio and television announcer. Since the 1940s, Pardo has been an in-house announcer for the NBC television network. He is the last of the "lifetime" staff announcers at NBC to still be working (following the retirement of Howard Reig and the death of Fred Facey). His best known announcing work is for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on NBC (which he gave up after the 1999 telecast) and the television series Saturday Night Live; he has been with the show since it premiered in 1975, except for one season (1981-1982).
On one memorable SNL episode in December 1976, Pardo participated in a musical performance by Frank Zappa, reciting a verse of the song "I'm The Slime". Pardo subsequently reprised this role on the live-recorded version of the song for Zappa in New York album (it was, however, not featured on the first release in 1978, but it appears on the 1993 CD re-release). He also provided narration for the songs "The Illinois Enema Bandit" and "Punky's Whips" (an ongoing business dispute between Zappa and his then-record company led to "Punky's Whips" being removed from the 1978 album, but the song was reinstated on the 1993 CD).
Prior to SNL, Pardo made his mark on game shows for NBC as the booming voice of The Price is Right from 1956 until it moved to ABC in 1963. He quickly moved over to Jeopardy!, which he announced from 1964, until the original version of the series ended in 1975. He reprised that role with a cameo voice-over in "Weird Al" Yankovic's 1984 parody song, "I Lost on Jeopardy." He also announced numerous lesser-known New York-based NBC games such as Three on a Match, Winning Streak and Jackpot!.
In addition, Pardo has also been the announcer for WNBC-TV's Live at Five news program, NBC Nightly News and Wheel of Fortune (during special on-location weeks, when the show originated in New York).
Pardo was the on-duty live booth announcer for WNBC-TV in New York and the NBC network on November 22, 1963, and it was he who first announced to NBC's viewers that President John F. Kennedy had been shot in Dallas, Texas. (His first bulletin interrupted a local WNBC-TV broadcast of "Bachelor Father" before the entire NBC network went live with the story.) Because NBC was slow to begin videotaping the assassination coverage, for decades it was believed that Pardo's historic bulletins were lost. However, almost 40 years later an audio tape of the bulletins was discovered in a private collection.
Pardo is the announcer of "Ten At Ten", a daily radio show on KFOG FM, San Francisco. His voice is also heard during the open and close of Len Berman's "Spanning the World" segments on WNBC and Today. His close goes as follows: "Tune in next time for "Spanning the World"...if there is a next time." The Bob and Tom Show also uses a pre-recorded opening of Pardo exclaiming, "It's 'The Bob and Tom Show'!" every morning at the start of the syndicated radio program.
Pardo is the father of Jimmy Pardo, the comedian.

Don Pardo is one of the voices that everyone has heard all their life, yet the man could walk down any street in America and not be recognized. Along with Johnny Olson, Don is one of my earliest influences--one of the guys you could look to and realize that you could actually talk for a living...even if his living (and his exposure) has been much greater than mine.

Happy 89th Birthday, Don Pardo!

Why Is It?. (Or, Ten Things To Make You Think.)

2007-02-16T11:31:00.000-05:00

Number 10. Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6. Some people are like a Slinky..... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2. In the 60s, people took drugs to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take drugs to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in the US but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Happy Valentine's Day. (Or, A Guide To Women, For Men.)

2007-02-14T08:21:00.000-05:00

Words Women Use:
1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. ) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to #3.

Hope this helps in your pursuit of happiness and bliss......Happy Valentine's Day!

A Blatant Plug. (Or, Hello To Tom.)

2007-01-27T13:59:00.000-05:00

Tiny Tunes has served Fort Wayne and Northeast Indiana for over 25 years. We offer the experience, professionalism and range of services to complement your event. Customized DJ Entertainment: • A party tailored to your wishes • Consultation to plan your event from your grand entrance to the last dance • Reception planning guide • Experienced Master of Ceremony for introductions and announcements • Appropriate attire • Expert Event Coordination… the KEY to your smooth-flowing party• Choice of music from the Big Band era to today’s hits • Requests taken before and during the event • Wireless microphone for the toast and other events • Professional sound system • Free light show, upon request • Contract to guarantee your date without worry

Everything you need to make your party complete….with no worries! I will work hard to make your event one-of-a-kind. Unlike some DJ services, I ACTUALLY WILL BE AT YOUR EVENT….not some sub-contracted rookie DJ…so availability is limited to one event per day.

Call now….Choice dates are filling fast! TINY TUNES- Professional Event and Entertainment Services

Steve “Tiny” Michaels (260) 433-3331

Vote Early And Often.

2007-01-18T16:00:00.000-05:00

Our Local entertainment paper is called Whatzup.
Each year, they do a 'best of' list and call it the Whammy Awards.
I HAVEN"T been nominated for a Whammy Award, but feel it only proper that I throw my hat into the ring and represent my fans, as well as the top-rated morning show in the city, the Bob And Tom Show (since the rules are slanted to disallow radio teams.)
And since write-ins are welcome, I encourage you to go to

http://www.whatzup.com/survey2006.html

and write in a vote for me for Favorite Radio Personality. You don't have to vote for every category.

Tell your friends and neighbors, too! Let's show Whatzup the power of Blogger. After all, why the hell would anyone vote for Carrie Bud Wellman and not Jim Reed? Or vote for either one of them at all? What BS.

A VOTE FOR TINY IS A VOTE FOR FREE ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE DEMOCRACY!! VOTE TODAY!!

TINY--WFWI--92.3 THE FORT!!!
As the media darlings and captains of industry, Bartles and Jaymes once said, Thank you for your support.

My Wish For You, And Us All. (Or, Holiday Greetings.)

2006-12-22T20:31:00.000-05:00

I HEARD THE BELLS ON CHRISTMAS DAY
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
Till ringing, singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
And in despair I bowed my head
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

Historical Note: This hymn was written during the American civil war, as reflected by the sense of despair in the next to last stanza. Stanzas 4-5 speak of the battle, and are usually omitted from hymnals:

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound the carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn, the households born
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

If you're reading this, you're probably either someone I've loved, someone I love, or someone I hope to love. Hopefully whatever despair you have, or will, encounter will-- like the song-- be overcome with hope.

Happy holidays to you and yours.

Do It. Now. Do It.

2006-11-07T13:31:00.000-05:00

VOTE. THROW THE BUMS OUT.

Tragedy, In Degrees.

2006-10-06T09:30:00.000-04:00

Something to think about, from Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert. He's not all laughs, it seems....

Tragedy Ranking System

Every time there’s a military conflict, someone points out that many of the victims were NOT adult men. The theory is that a tragedy is way more tragic if anyone other than adult men get killed. If you throw a woman or a minor or a puppy into the mix then we all have a reason to be sadder and madder.

I totally agree with the view that some tragedies are more tragic than others, depending on who is involved. But I do demand efficiency. That’s why I propose ranking the value of all types of people so I can more easily judge how sad I should feel when they get killed.

For example, if 400 villagers are buried in a mudslide, I’d like to know how many of them were drunks, assholes, nags, dickheads, crooks, or males, just to pick a few examples. I wouldn’t feel as much pressure to feel bad about that portion of the village. In the best case scenario, the victims would all be adult men with no special talents. That’s barely even a tragedy. We adult males have our uses to be sure, but society agrees that it’s not such a big deal when someone kills us.

I think that the main reason there are so many wars is that most of the soldiers are adult males. If all wars had to be fought exclusively by second graders or contestants from the Special Olympics, no one would ever start a war because the results would be too tragic.

Hmmmmm.....you know, all kidding and sarcasm aside, he has a point......

Stop The Presses. (Or, Rewriting History.)

2006-10-04T06:31:00.000-04:00

TODAY IN HISTORY: On this date in 1957, the Space Age, and the Space Race begins as Russia launches Sputnik I, the first Earth-orbiting satellite.
Coincidentally, today is also the 82nd birthday of Charlton Heston; who played Fort Wayne's own astronaut 'Taylor' in Planet Of The Apes.

It's no secret, if you know me, that I love the space program; and am still a big fan of NASA. Despite their problems, their flaws, and the occasional (and sometimes tragic) public failure, they still have an impressive track record. Think of how complex a shuttle launch and landing are, and you'll begin to understand that the loss of two shuttles and Apollo 1, while sad in the cost of human life, is damned impressive from a scientific standpoint. Consider Edison's ten thousand failures--er, tries-- before he got the light bulb right. And as someone who has been fortunate enough to meet and get to know several astronauts (my former sister-in-law was one), I can tell you that some of the brightest people in the country work in the space program--and I'm not just talking about the ones that get to go into space.

Add to that the fact that I grew up during the era of the space race, when the Cold War mentality meant we had to beat the pesky Russkies at all costs; and the fact that many astronauts have ties to our area, and I've been hooked all my life. One of the short list of people I'd like to meet before I die is Neil Armstrong. From Wapakoneta, Ohio, Mr. Armstrong was, as most people know, the first man on the moon. But recently new information has come to light about his famous quote.

Here, from the Sun of London, is an interesting story about Neil's famous line--and other misheard, and unheard lines from history, too. Enjoy.

NEIL ARMSTRONG’S famous quote “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” has become one of the best- known in history.
For nearly four decades, it was claimed the first man on the moon FLUFFED his lines — because man and mankind mean the same thing.
Armstrong was supposed to say: “That’s one small step for a man . . .” But yesterday the space pioneer was cleared — thanks to new analysis of the historic 1969 recording.
The findings show there is an acoustic wave where the “a” was meant to be — and it was simply not audible over the broadcast static.
Here, GRANT ROLLINGS looks back at some of the other famous phrases misquoted over the centuries.

“Not a lot of people know that” — Michael Caine. The actor never uttered that well-used catchphrase. The actual quote in the film Alfie was “Not many people know this.”

“Elementary, my dear Watson” — Sherlock Holmes. Author Arthur Conan Doyle never wrote these words for his pipe-smoking detective. The quote actually appeared in a film review in the New York Times in 1929.

“Beam me up, Scotty” — Captain Kirk. The closest Star Trek’s captain came to using this phrase was “Beam us up, Mr Scott.”

“Play it again, Sam” — Humphrey Bogart. In 1942 movie Casablanca, Bogart in fact says “If she can stand it, I can. Play it!” while actress Ingrid Bergman says “Play it, Sam. Play As Time Goes By.”

“Let them eat cake” — Marie Antoinette. She actually said: “Let them eat bread.”

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” — William Congreve. This is a shortened version of the playwright’s: “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”

“You dirty rat” — James Cagney. Anyone impersonating the Hollywood legend uses this phrase, even though it was never uttered by Cagney in any movie.

“Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well.” — Hamlet. William Shakespeare’s line actually reads: “Alas poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.”

“Kiss me, Hardy” — Horatio Nelson. Popular legend says the naval hero uttered these final words to the captain of HMS Victory, Thomas Hardy, after receiving a fatal wound during the
Battle of Trafalgar. But some historians argue Nelson in fact said: “Kismet, Hardy.” Kismet is “fate” in Turkish.

“Me Tarzan, you Jane” — Tarzan. This phrase does not appear in any Tarzan film, nor in the book by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” — The Bible. The correct quote from Proverbs 13:24 is: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”

“Religion is the opiate of the masses” — Karl Marx. The communist philosopher’s full quote was: “Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.”

“Do you feel lucky, punk?” — Clint Eastwood. As Harry Callahan in Dirty Harry. Clint’s full line was: “I know what you’re thinking, punk. You’re thinking, ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’ . . . But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

What's Left When The Smoke Clears. (Or, Precious Memories. How They Linger.)

2006-09-28T16:13:00.000-04:00

A tip from your ol' Uncle Tiny....Never mix expensive cigars and cheap grain alcohol. Mr. and Mrs. JQP are off on their new adventure, bolstered by the good wishes of friends. Some pics from the soiree, courtesy of Marko the Giant Leprechaun.....

Flip Off....Er, Send Off Mr. And Mrs. John Q. Public. (Or, Full Frontal Nudity Welcome. No Checks Please.)

2006-09-20T17:46:00.000-04:00

As you may have gleaned from an earlier post, Paige and Jodi (Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Public) are leaving for Phoenix. SOOOOOOOOOooooo.......

It's time for a going away party; AND the Final meeting of the original and official NLT crew, prior to our seven-figure syndication and franchising deal taking effect... And YOU"RE INVITED!

If I may quote from earlier invites to similar soirees.....

You and your guest will find yourself in the company of Media Giants, Exotic Entertainers, Captains of Industry, Intellectuals, War Heroes, Public Safety Professionals, and Intrepid Explorers of the Land, Sea and Air; also Representatives of the Law Enforcement, Health and Human Services Fields, Poets Laureate, Convicted Felons, a few Bolsheviks and a Gypsy or two.

(If you're not a member of one of these subsets, come anyway....we need some variety!)

THIS SATURDAY--BEGINNING AT 6PM--AT THE MACEDONIAN ROADHOUSE--

The Southtown Inn
6811 Old Decatur Road
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Phone: 447-9101

Heading south out of town on 27 (the bad side of town), pick up Old Decatur Road behind Scott's Grocery (the one with the giant cornucopia). Drive through two lights, (Pettit and Paulding Roads,) You will pass a Buddhist Temple on the right, followed by another one on the left, then the Jewish Cemetary on the right; after that is the Southtown Inn on the left (east) side of the road. If you hit Tillman you have gone too far, turn around and try again.

Look for a bar that looks like a place where Steel Workers, and Bikers would drink; that will be the nexus of the celebration. Cash Money only...No Checks. No Debit Cards. No ATMs. Bring a little extra dough so you can take home some Macedonian pickled produce.

I know that we're having a No-Love Thursday on Saturday--consider it the exception that makes the rule...that's not to say that Thursday might not still find us at the mahogany bar, as well...but that's looking less and less like a viable option....

This promises to either be the social soiree of the year; or an opportunity for Bail Bondsmen in two counties to reap a healthy profit. Either way, you won't want to miss the fun!! And if you're reading this, consider yourself on the guest list. It's gonna be one of those kinds of parties. Wear your best pair of underwear. You just never know.

Join us, won't you, Gentle Reader?

What To Do This Friday Night. (Or, A Blatant Plug.)

2006-09-20T16:56:00.000-04:00

Well, now you know what I'm doing Friday night. Mike Birbiglia, Auggie Smith, Henry Philips, Greg "The Fluteman" Warren, and Mike McCrae. ..all on stage at the Embassy Friday at 8. Meet and Greet, for the lucky few, at 7:30.

Tickets are still available....$28.50 at the Embassy, or thru Ticketmaster.

Look for me all over the Embassy...and RH too, as he's taking pictures for the station.

Then after the show, we're all off to Buckets in Covington Plaza for an afterparty....and probably a late dinner. Love Buckets' Red, White and Bleu burger...and their cole slaw is pretty darn good too.

Feel free to join me, won't you? It really will be a good time...and I'm not just blowing smoke up your skirt...

(Although upon further reflection...If you're a female, and you're into that kind of thing--and I guess, if you're wearing a skirt-- ask me and I might......Might be an interesting end to the evening.....)

An Untimely Update. (Or, It's Like My Life--Poorly Timed. Deal With It. I Have To.)

2006-09-18T10:36:00.000-04:00

Hmmmmm....where to begin?

Thursday brought to light the (potentially) final meeting of the No-Love Thursday Mutual Aid and Drinking Society in it's original incarnation, since founding member and Chairman Emeritus John Q. Public will, at the close of next week, be redeployed to the Phoenix area. Mrs JQP (aka the Lovely Flower) has been chosen to lead the promotional efforts of one of the leading Phoenix radio stations (and allegedly help train Arizona National Guardsmen in hand-to-hand combat; Mrs. JQP is nothing if not multi-talented.) Present were Pastor Bob; M. Chamberlin, Bon Vivant and Man About Town; the Bitter Red Headed Lady, Baba Ghannouj Girl, Rabbi Phil, JQP, Mrs. JQP, Tattoo John (recently back from his tour of several island locales) and this reporter. The usual witty banter and rapier wit was put on display for all to enjoy, while foul language was kept to a minimum, due to the consumption of food by civilians nearby. Oh, and I found out I can buy Chuck Taylor Cons at a discount at Zappo.com.

There may be a final, farewell edition of NLT yet at the venerable mahogany bar; or possibly at another venue--maybe the Macedonian Roadhouse for a final pickled produce fest, or even the rugby bar, which has seen so many excesses, that one more would just add to the legend. More details as they become available.

We at Secondgrade wish the Publics a safe journey, and much success in their new environs; so much success, in fact, that they are able to find a need for a man of MY talents and passions, and call on me to join them in the dry heat of Arizona. I always said I'd be an old man with gray hair and a ponytail, living in Tempe.....now's as good a time as any to embark on that chapter of my life.

For the three of you that were familiar with my latest quest for female companionship...That's gone ass up. And when I say 'ass up', I don't mean in a good way. Oh well. C'est la vie.

It continues to be busy around work....lots of stuff going on, and lots of community involvement. Getting prepared to provide sound, music and emcee the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society walk this Sunday at Lutheran Hospital. I've also been asked to be a part of a Toys For Tots benefit at the rugby bar on Friday, December 1st. More on that as we get nearer to the event.

Otherwise, just maintaining an even keel....trying to keep the sails headed into the wind, as I continue the journey. At least I think that's what's going on. Hell, the last time I was on a sailboat had to be thirty years ago. What the hell do I know? I might have my metaphors all screwed up.

Hoping you and yours are fine, Gentle Reader.........

Southern Charm.

2006-09-11T05:26:00.000-04:00

Two nicely dressed ladies started up a conversation during an endless wait for a flight at LAX. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on their children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz." Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh my God! What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious?" instead of saying "Who gives a shit?"

What Happens At NLT, Stays At NLT.

2006-08-31T07:36:00.000-04:00

The Quest For The Sensitive Man.

2006-08-26T22:17:00.000-04:00

I have come to the conclusion that women really AREN'T satisfied, no matter how caring, loving, giving, etc. the men in their lives are. Every woman I know is always looking for the 'perfect' man....never mind that the perfect man is as impossible to find as the perfect woman; that everything worth having, 'perfect' or not, takes a little effort; and that in relationships-- like cars, guitars, and shoes-- a little mileage and a few dings and scuffs gives 'em character and helps 'em run smoother. This story reflects the woman's quest for her ideal, the man's utter inability to even come close to that (too?) lofty goal, and the fundamental differences between men and women's perceptions of the same chain of events. Enjoy.

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children!?!"
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly.They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"
The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says: "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

A Couple Of Things. (Or, Join Me, Won't You?)

2006-08-24T13:22:00.000-04:00

First off, it's No-Love Thursday. I might attend, or i might be taking a nap......

so I can be ready for After Midnight!

Hope to see you at one or both of these fine Fort Wayne traditions....events like these shouldn't be missed. In an unrelated note, the logo for Tiny Tunes has been updated....let me know what you think.....

Don't forget, for your event, no matter how big or small, I have everything necessary for great tunage. Weddings, parties, reunions.....whatever...whether it's a little jazz for your dinner party, or filling the great outdoors with rock and roll for your big throwdown bash, Tiny Tunes can deliver....433-3331. Or email me at tiny 923thefort.com.

Carry on......

Hey, It Could Happen.

2006-08-24T13:18:00.000-04:00

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any skills or ambition. "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing." The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%) Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" "As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

An Oldie, But A Goodie. (With Apologies To My Friends Of Polish Descent.)

2006-08-24T13:13:00.000-04:00

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well, until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover. "

It's A No-Love Thursday. Ladies Get In Free. (Of Course, So Do The Guys.)

2006-08-10T05:45:00.000-04:00

I may be late to this evening's meeting of the Kirby Puckett Memorial Chapter of the No-Love Thursday Mutual Aid and Drinking Society, due to a prior commitment with the Fort Wayne Wizards (who begin a ten game home stand tonight at the Castle. Gametime is 7pm.)

Since I won't necessarily be there in my role as National Director of Membership to welcome you, here's a ticket to the festivities. Enjoy!

Back From The Blogger Dead. (Or, What I've Been Up To.)

2006-08-06T21:29:00.000-04:00

Been busier than a one legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Summer tends to do that when you're in my business. Sorry about the lack of postings.

So anyway, nine bands later, Borrowed Time won the Classic Rock Cover Band Search. They beat Off The Wall, Big Dick and The Penetrators, and the Joey O. Band in the finals. That doesn't include all of the talented bands that didn't make it that far. All of the bands were great this year....made it tough to judge. Just one (okay, four) of the events that have taken place since last we talked.

The Def Leppard/Journey party bus rocked. Good company, and a good show.

Got tix to see John Fogerty and Willie Nelson, as well as seats to the Dylan show on my birthday. Good times ahead there.

If i get a response to my e-mail, I might go to Buffett Tuesday night. We'll see....Between the Nascar-shirt wearing retards that didn't know Buffett existed until he sang with Alan Jackson; and the average ticket price nowdays, I'm not as excited as I used to be. I might just go and party in the parking lot. Or i might buy the boxed set, and a couple gallons of boat drinks, and have my own lil concert--and still save 40 bucks or so. We'll see.

Talked to AWB...gonna get links to other blogs soon. Thanks, AWB.

No Love Thursday has reappeared, and with my early morning hours, I find myself lured by the siren's call of the "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." Oh, and KT Matthews is bartending there part time....another reason to go to the mahogany bar.

Oh, and did I mention I'm doing DJing again? Just did a wedding last night. Went well, if I do say so myself. Thanks to new apprentice Cole for his help, and to RH for running across town to get my wireless microphone setup.

Remember, for parties, weddings, bike or car shows, or just cause you need sound, call me. I'm also available to spin in area bars, taverns, clubs, and social orginazations.

Here's a logo we're working on (with apologies to Warner Brothers):

433-3331. Call me for your musical needs. That number again....433-3331.

Thanks to Tom Colvin and the Speaker Workshop (on North Harrison) for getting my sound back to professional grade. Call me if you want to put my newly-renovated speakers to the test.

More soon......

Have You Ever Read It? (Or, Happy Fourth of July.)

2006-07-04T20:47:00.000-04:00

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred. to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
— John Hancock
New Hampshire:Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton
Massachusetts:John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island:Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery
Connecticut:Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott
New York:William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris
New Jersey:Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark
Pennsylvania:Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross
Delaware:Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean
Maryland:Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia:George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton
North Carolina:William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn
South Carolina:Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton
Georgia:Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

Where The Cool Kids Hang Out. (Or, Something For The Night Owls.)

2006-06-20T21:54:00.000-04:00

A blatant attempt at self-promotion.......COME ON OUT AND PARTY! After all...what kind of work do you get done on Friday, anyway??

A Whirlwind Weekend.

2006-06-17T00:37:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't been posting....very busy time at work. Lots of festivals, lots of remotes, and I'm finally getting out from under the music....only to face the 4th of July weekend. But i digress.

Today is 92.3 The Fort day at Ribfest downtown, which features some great music from G Money and the Fabulous Rhythm Kids, the Eric Jeradi Band, and Anthony Gomes--who is opening for BB King on some dates on his final tour. Great blues, and good pig.

In a related story, I've set the schedule to get back into regular rhythm in my workout routine. But I think I'm doing well.....Check out the definition in my six-pack.....

Now....aren't you glad you checked in??

Have a happy Father's day, too. My kids have checked in...and all is great on that front, at least. For all my flaws, I have good kids. That has to count for something.

More soon, I promise. Till then, take care.....

THe History, By John Bonsid. (sic.)

2006-06-06T22:55:00.000-04:00

From WANE.com--verbatim. The typos, editorial errors, and sentence fragments are solely theirs. Coverage you can count on, indeed.

Behind Business: THe History of Cable TV in Fort Wayne
Comcast cable celebrated 20 years of providing service in Fort Wayne today, but the city's cable television history actually extends back to the mid 70's.
That's when a local visionary brought many first to the area.
A little known fact is that Fort Wayne is partly responsible for the success of ESPN.
"ESPN got its start here; yeah few people know that," says former Citizen Cable Communication owner John Bonsid.
In 1978 ESPN only aired ice hockey games out of Boston. Bonsid called them and asked if they wanted to broadcast their station on his new Fort Wayne cable franchise.
"That's when their growth started."
Bonsid says other stations growth started in Fort Wayne as well including Black Entertainment Television.
In 1986 for more than a million dollars, Bonsid says at the time it was the highest price paid per customer for a cable station.

Okay, WANE.com.....If you need help with online editing and reporting, feel free to call. I'll gladly edit and consult for a reasonable fee. And the next time you run a story about the history of cable tv in the Fort Wayne area, you might note that John BONSIB (no d, but with a b at both ends) ran Citizen(S) Cable. If you can't get the names right, what other facts might be suspect?

Don't get me wrong...I love WANE's news department. I even understand that both WANE and INC sometimes use TV copy on their websites, and as a result, web stories sometimes read like a spoken report, with peculiatities developed from writing for speech rather than print. But come on. 'Brought many first to the area?' 'In 1986 for more than a million dollars?' This isn't sentence fragments mirroring speech....it's just bad writing/editing. And to mess up both the name of the principal AND the company?

Really....I'm looking for a part time job. I'll be your web editor...

The Question Of The Day.

2006-06-06T22:27:00.000-04:00

And So They Go. (Or, Time Passages.)

2006-05-15T23:21:00.000-04:00

Two things of note that I haven't, frankly, had time to address until now. Both are passings that while not very important in the grand scheme of things, have taken away a little of the character and uniqueness of our city; as well as marking the passing of a certain part of my (and others I know's) lives.

First, the news that O's is trying to clean up their image a little. Never mind those of us that though that their image was just fine, as a place you could feel at home, wanted and welcome, without being self-conscious. (In fact, you could be UN-conscious, and not be harmed.) That re-imaging came at the expense of the graffiti, bumper stickers, and miscellaneous junk in the back room.

Okay, the graffiti I could do without, although there was something comforting about reading the same stale jokes about Tim bucking too for the ten thousandth time on the way to the john (or on the way out the back door.) But I have to say, the whitewashed walls (the paint job is only about half done, and going slowly) has stripped the back room of most of its character. And most importantly, not only did they take down my stickers (no reall loss, but irritating....)

THEY TOOK DOWN THE SECOND GRADE SIGN OVER THE MIDDLE BOOTH ON THE BACK WALL--THE VERY SIGN THAT INSIPRED THE NAME OF THIS BLOG.

It appears that they are going after a more sedate clientele. But I wonder if the traditions that made the place unique are being whitewashed with the walls. Oh well. If that were the worst news, we would be all right. BUT....there's more.

It seems that one of Fort Wayne's most venerable traditions has also gone by the wayside recently; how recently, I can't say. But Power's Hamburgers is NO LONGER OPEN ALL NIGHT. The one thing that made them an indispensible part of the fabric of the community--gone. I can't begin to tell the stories of late nights at Powers that I personally had a hand in--and there are many more besides. No more breakfasts with Bob Sievers on his way to start the day at WOWO. No more sliders with light onions. No more chili. No more Egg Rolies (named after the late proprietor.) What the hell happened? One too many drunks? One too many hoodlums? One too many no-show employees? I don't know. But first the current owner closed the Maumee Street location...now the cutback of hours at Harrison Street. Could this be the beginning of the end? Hard to tell. But it's not a good sign, by any stretch of the imagination. And it's just another hole torn in the fabric of downtown...of Fort Wayne...and of my life (and that of many others I hold near and dear.)

As I've said time and time again....Change...isn't always progress.

And So It Goes. (Or, I'm Pissed.)

2006-05-11T01:44:00.000-04:00

Linda Ellerbee is a woman of spirit and determination who has enlightened and entertained us for over 30 years.
Revered as a pioneer, survivor, and role model for both young and old, Ellerbee charms sell-out audiences across the country. She speaks to them about surviving in a changing world. They come to hear her trademark wit and wisdom on everything from family life, friendship, getting fired, building a career, starting a company, discovering love, politics, feminism, surviving breast cancer, recovering from alcoholism, overcoming obstacles, climbing mountains, and making a noise.
Ellerbee began at CBS, then moved to NBC News, where, after covering politics, she cultivated a diverse following in the 80s with the pioneering late-night news program NBC News Overnight , which she wrote for and anchored. Overnight was cited by the Columbia duPont Award it received as "the best written and most intelligent news program ever." In 1986, Ellerbee moved to ABC News to anchor and write for Our World , a weekly prime-time historical series. Her work on Our World garnered her an Emmy for Best Writing.
In 1987, Ellerbee and her partner, Rolfe Tessem, quit the networks to start Lucky Duck Productions, where it first produced documentaries for PBS. In 1991, Lucky Duck began producing - with Ellerbee writing and hosting - Nick News . Eleven years later, Nick News , which airs on Nickelodeon and is syndicated in nearly 200 stations, is the most popular children's news program on television and one of the highest acclaimed children's programs of any kind. It is known for the respectful and direct way it speaks to children about the important issues of our time . Nick News has won three Peabody Awards (including one Personal Peabody given to Ellerbee for her coverage of the Clinton investigation), a Columbia duPont Award and two Emmy Award.
Ellerbee is the author of several books including And So It Goes: Adventures in the Television World , a book about Ellerbee's career, Move On: Adventures in the Real World , a book about Ellerbee's life, and Get Real , an 8-part fictional series for middle-school readers.
Whether as a keynote speaker, moderator, panelist, or host, Ellerbee puts audiences at ease while inspiring them with her gifts of honesty, courage, hope, and laughter. There is a reason Ellerbee gets standing ovations. She is a real person speaking to real people, to the heart from the heart.

Okay. Not only am I not invited to the event featuring Ms. Ellerbee (Tapestry for WOMEN,) I can't even get Blogger to let me put her picture here.
I appreciate the effort to have Ms. Ellerbee here, and applaud the sponsors that make it possible. But I've been a fan of Linda's for 25 or so years...watched almost EVERY one of the 367 episodes of NBC News Overnight (yes, I know how many there were...call me a fanatic)....in fact, a copy of her book is next to my bed even as I write this. So WHY would Ms. Ellerbee be considered a WOMEN's speaker?

Why not allow her comments as one of the Omnibus speakers in the IPFW series?
Is it empowering women to have an event just for them? Or shouldn't IPFW be encouraging diversity by including men AND women?

If it turns out I can attend, please, someone let me know. Although Linda IS a breast cancer survivor, her story (and her stories) encompass so much more. She's a terrific writer, a good journalist, one of the pioneering women in network television news, a helluva storyteller, and one of the people that inspired me to go into the media. Her multi faceted life shouldn't be distilled into a talk for women only about a single subject. And the event Friday, sponsored by our community college, should be open to all members of our community. Especially this fan.

Linda, if you're listening........

Better Than Cake And Ice Cream. (Or, The Ultimate Brain Food-For A Frozen Brain.)

2006-05-05T02:01:00.000-04:00

From Slurpee.com.

The story of Slurpee® drinks began in 1959 with a broken soda fountain machine in Kansas. When Omar Knedlik's soda machine broke at his drive-in hamburger restaurant, he began serving icy-cold bottled soft drinks from his freezer. Customers fell in love with the slushy drinks, sparking Knedlik to come up with the idea of creating soft-serve frozen drinks. After failed attempts to create a machine to make his icy beverages, Knedlik contacted the John E. Mitchell Company, a Dallas machinery manufacturer in 1959. Mitchell was attracted to the idea and began working with an automobile air conditioner to create a machine that would freeze carbonated soft drinks that could be served in a sherbet-like form and would be drunk through a straw. Mitchell's machine used a complex system to freeze the beverages so they could be served at an icy 28 degrees. Although a revolution in the soft drink field, Mitchell's frozen drinks were not a huge success with retailers. He tried selling his machines to drugstores and restaurants between 1960 and 1965, but the product's novelty and stores' inexperience with refrigeration equipment kept it from making an impact. But a chance encounter with a 7-Eleven manager would forever change the success of the frozen beverage. While visiting a competitor's store in 1965, a 7-Eleven zone manager came across one of Mitchell's machines and thought that it had a huge potential for success. In the Fall of 1965, 7-Eleven purchased three machines to test the product in their stores. They were an immediate success, and by the Spring of 1967, the machines were in almost every 7-Eleven® store. The Slurpee mark was created in May 1967 during a brainstorming session at 7-Eleven's in-house ad agency. While drinking the product through a straw, agency director Bob Stanford commented that it made a slurping sound. The Slurpee® drink phenomenon was born. For the past 32 years, Slurpee® drink has evolved from Fulla-Bulla to Fire Water to Shrek-a-licious. But no matter the flavor, it will always be The Coolest Drink on Earth™.

This is sort of revisionist history....What 7-11 doesn't want you to know is that the 'drive-in hamburger restaurant' in question was a DAIRY QUEEN, and that both the Mr. Misty (my general favorite; and while not as romantic, available handily almost everywhere) AND the ICEE (Knedlik's 'non-impactful' product, since 1961; and available at Kmarts everywhere; among other places) are the same thing as the Slurpee. And don't even get me started on the Slush Puppie, where YOU get to add the flavored syrup to your own drink (I recommend at least 1 1/2 more squirts than the machine says to use.)

Than said, there's damn few things as satisfying as a big plastic cup, all dewy and cold, filled almost to the rim (or over, if you get the dome lid) with tasty, delicious Slurpee (or the equivalent.) Go for the Cherry. Tell the man at the counter that I sent you. And don't forget your straw/spoon.

Salut!

Just Tossing It Out There. Do With It What You Will.

2006-04-30T17:42:00.000-04:00

My oldest daughter got her shoes for the prom.

I have a daughter old enough to go to the prom.

My youngest daughter fell down the stairs at home today, and scratched her face.

This is the same daughter that took the pics of the waterfall, and rolled her eyes when I told her to get away from the (125 foot+) precipice.

I have enough money to pay my bills for April.

It's now May. (Or close enough for the Post Office.)

Good times and riches and son of a bitches, I've seen more than I can recall.

I start working nights again beginning this week.

Nights have now been extended to 7pm-2am.

Some of that time will be enjoyed 'virtually'.

I need to order some new bumper stickers.

I have broken the cycle of being terrified when someone calls late at night. Everyone else in my family fears the worst. I tend to enjoy those calls.

I think that is because the so called 'normal' people wouldn't call you in the middle of the night.

The calls I get then are more interesting than most.

Hell, all the calls I get are more interesting than most.

Most of the people I know are far from average.

I'm blessed to know most of them--even the ones that are borderline insane.

If you call me at night, sometimes I won't be awake. You'll have to deal with that.

Usually I sleep through the night. Usually a train running through the room wouldn't wake me up. I tend to be a very sound sleeper.

Lying on the floor of my bedroom right now, you'll find a severed limb.

Relax--it's a fake, left over from Halloween. I had it stored in a suitcase I used for my trip.

Cars are like eggs....they're cheaper in the country.

So is crack cocaine and crystal meth.

Probably something about cutting out the middleman in both cases.

You really have to be in a No Love mood to enjoy No Love Thursdays.

I find that that mood eludes me sometimes.

I also find it disturbing that my being happy can disrupt my social calendar. That's just wrong.

Pickled produce is good.

The morning after eating it--not so.

If you get a chance to eat French Fries made by a Macedonian with OCD, take it.

Be prepared to wait, though.

Meijer has a wine special for 3 bottles for 8 bucks.

Surprisingly, it's not bad for that price. A good table wine.

George Dickel costs under 10 bucks in Middle Tennessee--16 or so in Indiana..

Jack Daniels, on the other hand, is more expensive than here.

Maybe it's not the middleman after all. Maybe it's just good old supply and demand.

Or 'status.'

Or hell--maybe it's just like the oil companies, and they make it all up as they go along.

I didn't check on tequila. I hate tequila. Jose Cuervo can kiss my American ass.

My dislike of tequila has nothing to do with the recent immigration spat.

How do Texans feel about celebrating Cinco De Mayo? Would Lousiana celebrate La Marseilles?

For that matter, do WE celebrate any Miami, Iroquois or Potawatami holidays?

Fuck your culture. Celebrate your heritage. That's your birthright. But you're here now. If we're not your culture, we should be. Don't like it? Get the fuck out and go back to your OLD culture.

How much WAS in a 'dime bag' anyway? Today, that would be like the part that fell on the floor when you lit up, right?

I was talking to three adults at Glenbrook Dodge the other night. Not only did they not know where Lehman's was...they didn't know WHAT it was.

I bought my first turntable, CB radio, and cassette deck at Lehman's.

My first CD players (two) I got at Fretters.

That was good marketing. Got the message across--and made you remember it. I still remember "OOPS! Ollie Overbought!"

Fretter, Highland, Circuit City, Best Buy--that's why Lehman's is gone.

Fretter commercials were also some of the first commercials I remember locally that screamed at you.

I don't like to be screamed at.

Maybe that's why Fretter and Highland went under.

You can tell people that worked at McDonald's--they still call it a "Filet-O-Fish'" instead of a fish sandwich.

They also taught us that grease from the meat was 'juices', and in the fryers it was 'shortening.'

McDonalds doesn't have grease.

And they say brainwashing doesn't work.

I taught everyone that taught everyone that trained everyone on how to make McDonald's breakfast products in this part of the country. They sent someone down from Des Plaines to teach me; and the chain went from there.

I trained at the Anthony McDonalds, and worked at Southtown. Back when there still WAS a south side. Both are gone now.

It takes a lot to get McDonalds to throw in the towel. The Calhoun Street store is gone too, now that I think about it.

No one wants to go to the south side of town. There's STILL nothing there of interest. Menards and Wal-Mart aren't unique enough to compel me--or others. Nothing the Mayor can do about THAT, huh?

The people that worked at McDonalds a long time ago are the ones that call the Coliseum store "California Road."

It's 3AM and I must be lonely.

Not really...that's just the song that's going through my head.

Time for dinner. You have a great day, now, y'hear?

Boudeleaux Bryant Was A Genius. (Or, I Wish That I Was On Old Rocky Top.)

2006-04-26T15:39:00.000-04:00

Busier than a one armed paper hanger....a one legged man in an ass kicking contest....or whatever other colorful metaphor you'd care to use. Lots of stuff going on at work. Trying to have a social life outside of work too. Thanks to Tom, and Cliff, and especially Robbie for the great ribs last night.

Found out I actually CAN play darts...like most things in life, not as well as some, but better than others. Found out that I'm too old to stay up till 1am...and then GET up again at 4. Remembered that as in the rest of my life, I have tendency to push forward now...and suffer the consequences later. As a result, I've nodded off twice at my desk so far today. Oh well.

Changes at work....will update as soon as the embargo lifts. In the meantime, my recent trip to East and Central Tennessee has whetted my appetite for relocation services, and a new beginning--or possibly a return to old ones.

Here are a couple of pictures of my trip.....

The condo on Renegade Mountain where we stayed. 2400 feet up in the Cumberland Mountains.

The place where Amanda's boyfriend took us for dinner the first night in Knoxville. Good stuff.
Two pictures of Ozone Falls....on the western side of Renegade Mountain, near where we stayed. A quick hike to a 100+ foot waterfall into deep blue water. Cold water, too.
Two nubbins finding out just how cold mountain water is. We had fun. (The waterfall is about 20 feet to the right....notice the break where they're standing; where the water is getting faster.)

Lots of fun. I'm now recharged, renewed, refreshed.....but I still want to go back as soon as possible. As the old song goes...."Here comes that old travelin' jones once again...."

In other news, looks like I'm a maybe at best for NLT....tomorrow or any other night. Tomorrow's potential absence you can blame on the Wizards and the Komets....more news later on the rest of the story. Hoist one (or eleven) in my honor, OK?

Some Thoughts For The Day. (To Tide You Over While I'm Gone.)

2006-04-13T08:36:00.000-04:00

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.

--W.H. Auden

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

--Rita Rudner

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.

--William Goldman, 'The Princess Bride'

And two that sum up blogging, and my absence from it while on vacation:
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

--Plato (427BC-347BC)

I dote on his very absence.

--William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

The Next Nine Days.

2006-04-12T10:17:00.000-04:00

Situated in Cumberland County. . . in East Tennessee, Renegade Mountain is a gated, secured community built some 2,800 feet above sea level, covering 9,300 unspoiled acres. This rugged nature preserve is home to a broad variety of wildlife, including white-tailed deer, wild turkey, red fox and hundreds of bird species.
Famous for its four gentle seasons, relaxed lifestyle and spectacular natural beauty, Renegade Mountain combines captivating sunrises and sunsets with a lot to do in between. A short drive from Knoxville, Chattanooga and Nashville, we are conveniently located just minutes from I-40. Locally, our residents enjoy community theater, fine dining, outlet mall shopping and diverse outdoor activities. Renegade Mountain remains a special place today. The distinct assortment of animal and plant life contributes in a unique way to the beauty of nature on the mountain, enriching the lives of everyone who visits.

Boy, could my life use some enriching. Looking forward to it.
Some time with the kids, and some peaceful time just relaxing on the side of the mountain....
Might even try to play a round of golf. (Ok, maybe not.....)
See you next weekend.

Three Days To Go.

2006-04-11T09:26:00.000-04:00

A Thought For The Day (from Left Of Centrist--sorry Robert, but I can't get the links to work today...)

Would someone be fined if they attempted to pronounce FCC phonetically on the air?

Ok.....lots to do, not much time. Going to leave at noon Thursday and head to Nashville....dinner with an old friend...then off to Knoxville Friday morning to spend the long weekend with my nubs...and enjoy the rest of the week in a nature preserve in middle Tennessee. Lots of fun times ahead. But before I leave, as always, I gotta pack two weeks worth of work into four days....

So if I don't talk to you, have a happy Easter. I won't post next week, unless I seek out a computer. But the digital camera is going along...so photos should be coming soon.

Until then, picture me hiking with my kids on Cumberland Mountain, in central By-God Tennessee...or maybe sitting in a pew at the Ryman Auditorium (after all, music is my REAL religion...)

and take care.

Check This Out.

2006-04-10T05:29:00.000-04:00

Oh, For The Good Old Days. (Or, Sometimes Technology Is A Good Thing.)

2006-04-05T06:07:00.000-04:00

Talking to some friends last night, the subject of cell phones came up. We laughed about the early reports that cell phone use was going to cause giant tumors to appear on the side of the users heads; and speculated about the future of cell phone technology (can you say cochlear implanted cell phones?)

As I drove home later in the evening, I noticed my cell phone's battery was dangerously low. I had the sudden urge to plug it into the cigarette lighter charger...and I realized how absurd it was that I felt like I NEEDED a phone at arm's length at 10:30 in the evening (yes, it was a late night again last night.)

Yes, I know that cell phones are everywhere. Yes, I know that EVERYONE has one (well, except for some of my Amish-tinged Hoosier relatives.) But I'm still struck by the absurdity that we NEED a cell phone. What the heck did we do before Motorola introduced us to the MicroTAC? (which, if you'll recall, was a damn sight better than those big, bulky bag phones; but was far from 'convenient'.)

Cell phones, PDAs, Bluetooth.....Life was simpler before technology reared its ugly head.

Or was it?

Ah, for the good old days.......

On second thought, maybe I should switch to a Razor phone...small, and dependable...

A Thought For The Day.

2006-04-05T06:05:00.000-04:00

"Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none."

--William Shakespeare

NLT and Life In General -A Recap.

2006-04-04T07:12:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know it wasn't Thursday yesterday, but a meeting of the No-Love Thursday Mutual Aid and Drinking Society took place last evening at the mahogany bar. This reporter was elected president by unanimous vote of the quorum present. A historic day for the organization, and a true honor and privilege for me.

In other news, only ten days till Knoxville....eleven days till Nashville. Can't wait to see my favorite ladies, listen to some music, make some homemade pizza, and play some fun card games. Hopefully going to the Grand Old Opry on Sat the 15th to see Hal Ketchum AND Steve Wariner. No matter what we do, it'll be fun....even if all we do is sit around and watch Cartoon Network.

Last Friday (3/24) was the Friends of the Bob & Tom show....lots of fun, and good times spent with the comedians. This past Saturday (4/1) was the Rodney Carrington show. Also a great time, although I never thought I'd see ONE giant inflatable penis on the stage at the Embassy Theatre...let alone two.

Thanks to Tom for capturing the evening in pictures. Rodney is just as nice as he was BEFORE the ABC show, and the million selling records....back when I first met him, he didn't even have a tour bus yet. Now look at him......

I love this man....as you can plainly see.....

A Thought For The Day.

2006-03-30T09:50:00.000-05:00

Bought It Sight Unseen. (RIP James Dean Museum.)

2006-03-30T09:37:00.000-05:00

From The News-Sentinel (all kidding aside, i STILL love that paper.)

GAS CITY, Ind. - The owner of a museum chronicling the short life of actor James Dean says he has closed it down for good after struggling financially since its opening in 2004.
David Loehr, the owner of the James Dean Gallery, had first announced in December that he planned to close the museum, but an outpouring of contributions led him to give it another try. But it shut down at the end of February, and Loehr has packed up and placed all of his Dean memorabilia into storage.
"It was a real asset to the county and state, but I just couldn't keep it going," he told the Chronicle-Tribune of Marion for a story Thursday. "It's time to move on to the next thing."
Loehr said he would soon be setting up a small display in the National Automotive & Truck Museum in the town of Auburn north of Fort Wayne. That Dean display, however, will not compare to the tribute Loehr had in the 7,000-square-foot gallery building.
"Only 25 percent of what we had on display (in Gas City) will be showcased here," he said.
He also would like to place some of his collection - including wardrobe worn by Dean in his three films, school papers and artwork by the actor - at the old Fairmount High School, where Dean graduated in 1949, if a renovation effort there succeeds.
He also plans to continue operating the gallery's Web site and Rebel, Rebel - his Dean memorabilia store in Fairmount.
"We will never have a display again like the one at the gallery," he said.

A Sign From Above.

2006-03-30T09:24:00.000-05:00

For Mrs. JQP. (Yes, It's A Dog Wearing A Thong.)

2006-03-30T07:39:00.000-05:00

JQP was writing just yesterday, in a series of random thoughts, about how his lovely flower often farts, and blames it on the dogs. Now, for a small investment, he can muzzle the dogs' hinder parts....and relocate the blame squarely where it belongs.

From Gizmodo.
You can stop squinting now, your eyes aren’t deceiving you—it really is a photo of a dog wearing a thong. But not just any dog thong! No, the Dogone thong is the “comfortable and least intrusive means for deodorizing gassy discharges”, and you know you can trust it because it comes from the #1 name in flatulence odor control products.
You can get the Dogone in any of three sizes and they’re each $19.99, but if you buy them you’ll need very expensive headphones to keep from hearing the neighbors making fun of you and your poor pooch.

Walking In Memphis? Stop By The Latest National Historic Landmark.

2006-03-30T07:18:00.000-05:00

The Memphis mansion Elvis Presley called home was named a National Historic Landmark today, joining Monticello and less than 2,500 other American buildings.
Graceland, built in 1939 as a private residence, was a prayer center when Presley bought the house in 1957. He died in one of its four bathrooms in 1977 and is buried on the 14-acre grounds.
"It didn't take Americans and the rest of the world long to discover Elvis Presley, and it's clear that they will never forget him," said Gale Norton, secretary of the interior, in a statement. "This [designation] is our nation's highest recognition for historic properties."
Norton officially designated the house at a ceremony today. The National Park Service selects National Historic Landmarks according to its theme-based studies, and the secretary of the interior makes the final decision.
"Graceland is my childhood home, and it holds so man great memories of the time I shared with my father, my family, and our friends," Presley's daughter, Lisa Marie, who owns the house, said in a statement. "I am committed to ensuring that it will be preserved forever."
The National Register-listed mansion has been open to the public since 1982. With more than 600,000 visitors a year, Graceland is among the top five most-visited house museums in the country.

Your Hoosier History For The Day. (Plus, My Favorite Shoe.)

2006-03-24T08:38:00.000-05:00

****UPDATE**** 'Chuck Taylor, All-Star: The True Story Of The Man Behind The Most Famous Athletic Shoe in History' author Abe Aamidor will be on the Bob & Tom Show Monday (check local listings; locally 6-10am on 92.3 The Fort, WFWI.)
From The Indiana Daily Student.

His signature resides on the ankle patch of perhaps the most popular shoe in American history. He's a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame and mingled with such basketball legends as John Wooden, Red Auerbach and Dean Smith. But up until now, nobody knew the true story of Chuck Taylor.Enter Abe Aamidor.The former IU adjunct professor and current feature writer at The Indianapolis Star spent three years digging up the facts and filtering out the myth of Chuck Taylor's life to write the first-ever biography on the Columbus, Ind., native."I was excited to learn there was never a book written about him," Aamidor said. "It was kind of like finding a gold coin in the street and nobody's around -- you just pick it up."Because Taylor played in the pre-modern era of basketball that newspapers did not cover much and Converse misled the public about which pro teams Taylor played for, there was a lot for Aamidor to discover."Part of the mission was to debunk the mythology," Aamidor said. "There was a lot of junk in the standard brief stuff on Chuck's life, but there was also a lot that wasn't talked about."Taylor was born in 1901 and spent most of his early years in Azalia, Ind., and Columbus, Ind.He never played college basketball, which before World War II was the most watched and publicized level of the game. Instead, Taylor became involved with industrial league hoops, more prominent during the 1920s than professional basketball.Taylor was also a great basketball coach -- a part of his life that is often overlooked, Aamidor said. He coached the Wright Field (Ohio) Army Air Force "Air-Tecs" of the U.S. Army's Special Service Division. The team toured the country playing college and other military teams and is regarded by some as the best service basketball team in history, winning more than 90 percent of its contests during the 1944-45 season."All the good players from colleges that were already playing pro ball were drafted (for military service)," Aamidor said. "In those days, you didn't get a deferment from the draft because you were a great ball player."Instead of being well-known for his coaching abilities, Taylor became most famous for his relationship with Converse and its "All-Star" shoe. Although stories range on just how Chuck became involved with the company, he most likely became a salesman for Converse in 1921 and after proving to be a valuable asset to the company, his name was added to the All-Star patch in 1932.One way Taylor marketed the shoe was through the "Fundamentals of Basketball" clinics he put on throughout the country. These clinics were put on at high schools and small colleges and on average drew about 300 to 400 guests."Before World War II, football and baseball were the big sports," Aamidor said. "So, in the clinics, he explained the game to a lot of people who weren't familiar with it."Taylor promoted the shoe in a variety of other ways, ranging from traveling with the Converse All-Stars basketball squad to personally contacting and visiting owners of small-town sporting goods stores."In a way, his dealings were a bit shady, but he was ultimately honest and likeable," Aamidor said. "Nowadays, every photograph is airbrushed and any statement made is through a spokesman and interviews have to be granted. While Chuck's ways weren't perfect, they were much more honest."

A Thought For The Day.

2006-03-22T06:54:00.000-05:00

It's never just a game when you're winning.

--George Carlin

Hmmm....Much Ado About Nothing? (Or, Wouldn't A Rental Car Be A Security Threat, Too?).

2006-03-22T06:13:00.000-05:00

From New York Magazine.

Congressional leaders freaked when the Bush administration okayed Dubai Ports World’s management takeover of key U.S. ports. The 9/11 hijackers passed through Dubai, and its banks have been used by terrorist groups. But though the ports deal has been torpedoed, Dubai still possesses some crucial pieces of America’s patrimony. Dubai Holdings, the state company of Dubai, already owns the Helmsley Building, the Essex House, and Madame Tussauds Wax Museum, which boasts American-as-apple-pie wax renditions of eight presidents—and self-appointed national conscience George Clooney. Dubai International Capital is the third-largest investor in DaimlerChrysler, and through investments with the Carlyle Group and JPMorgan, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum has dollars and dirhams in a wide range of U.S. companies. Each Dunkin’ Donuts’ coffee, Baskin-Robbins sundae, Hertz car rental, and Alain Ducasse dinner New Yorkers buy makes the sheikh richer. Don’t tell Congress.

Grandma Doesn't Know Everything After All. (Or, A Chuckle For The Day.)

2006-03-22T05:47:00.000-05:00

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked , "Grandma, what is that called when people are sleeping on top of each other?"She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth... "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,"Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds!

Milestones.

2006-03-21T07:37:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to my oldest daughter today.... Your daddy loves you (and your sister) more than everything else in the world combined. Enjoy your spring break this week, and I'll see you very soon!

On a sadder note, condolences to the family of John Atz, who passed away yesterday from injuries suffered in an accident late last week. Mr. Atz owned and managed the Atz Furniture stores in Kendallville and Ligonier, and was active in both communities. John (and his son Joe) were also the first clients I ever met in broadcasting....they wrote and performed their own commercials. Down home and often hokey, their spots were always fun...and memorable...in fact, when both John and Joe went on vacation one time, and we didn't air their commercial for a week, I actually got calls wanting to know what happened to the Atz boys. A business and community leader, and a good man. He will be missed.

What's Going On. (Marvin Gaye, Not Four Non Blondes.)

2006-03-20T06:35:00.000-05:00

Ummmm......

Not much.

Been busy.
Gonna stay busy.
Looking forward to vacation coming soon (Good Friday will be a GREAT Friday.)

That's it for now.

Ladies...Erin Go Braghless. (Or, Maybe I'll Be At O's Late...Until Then.....).

2006-03-17T08:34:00.000-05:00

For One Day Only....
The World's Largest Leprechaun.

Nuff Said.

Have a Happy St. Pat's...

and be safe.

Damn That NAFTA Thing Anyway. (Or, Your Joke Of The Day.)

2006-03-17T07:03:00.000-05:00

A Kendallville couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed".

The doctor asked them why, after nine children, would they choose to do this.

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican, and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

True?
Maybe.......

Just In Time For St. Patrick's Day. (Or, Have A Good Time At O's.)

2006-03-16T08:47:00.000-05:00

I won't be attending my usual St. Patrick's pilgrimage to the rugby bar...got work commitments from dawn till midnight. But in the spirit, here are some Irish observations.....

Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.
------------------------------------------------------------
-Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
------------------------------------------------------------
The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they're always assured of having a worthy opponent.
------------------------------------------------------------
An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question? "Who told you that?" asked Paddy.
------------------------------------------------------------
Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple? Answer - So the English can understand them.
------------------------------------------------------------
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty." "That's grand!"shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------I
Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?" Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."
------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantle piece?" "No," said himself, "but I'm gettin' closer all the time."
------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? A. A bachelor.
------------------------------------------------------------
Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home.
------------------------------------------------------------
Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!"He said. "Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!"
"Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked.
"No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'."
------------------------------------------------------------
"O'Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife's appearance?" "It did surely," replied O'Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!"
------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
------------------------------------------------------------
My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs?

Health Care With A Personal Touch.

2006-03-15T07:37:00.000-05:00

BERLIN, March 14 (UPI) -- About 30 German prostitutes are giving up working on beds to working with bedpans in a 2-year program to retrain as auxiliary geriatric nurses.
The program in the western state of North Rhine Westphalia is being funded by the Lutheran Church and the European Union, The Telegraph reported from Berlin.
The scheme is seen as a good bridge between getting the women out of a dangerous trade and also helping plug a shortfall in geriatric care.
Rita Kuhn, of the church's welfare program, said most of the women, who range in age from their 20s to 40s are finding the transition smooth.
"They are in general very good at dealing with people, in addition to which they don't get squeamish and have absolutely no fear about touching or being touched," she said.

Hope this catches on...It would make getting old almost worth looking forward to.....

It's All In The Timing. (Or, I Can't Make This Stuff Up.)

2006-03-15T07:33:00.000-05:00

PORTLAND, Maine -- A Portland man is under medical observation after ingesting several dozen bags of heroin.
Portland police said they were preparing to release Nicholas Foley, 27, after a dispute with another man over money. But while he was being booked at the jail, police said he fell ill and threw up 31 bags of heroin.
Upon further investigation, police found another nine bags of heroin hidden in Foley's cigarette pack.
The episode unfolded Sunday after another man accused Foley of taking his money. Foley is at the Maine Medical Center.

Yep...They were ready to release him when he tossed his cookies...and the smack. Talk about bad timing.......

His Friends Call Him Big Dick.(Or, You Don't See That Everyday.)

2006-03-15T06:23:00.000-05:00

The Friends of the Bob & Tom Show are appearing at the Embassy Theatre next Friday night. A group of funny comedians....Frank Caliendo, Greg Warren, Mike Armstrong, Roy Wood Jr. and Donnie Baker (a B&T regular voice.) Here are some screen shots of the Embassy marquee advertising the show.

If you know me, you know that I don't know enough about computers to be able to Photoshop (although as always, I'd like to learn.) I swear that as of yesterday afternoon, this was still on the marquee. Don't know if it was someone's sense of humor at the Embassy (unlikely, but possible) or merely the work of an aged volunteer that didn't get the joke (much more likely.) But I almost pissed myself when I saw it...in fact, I almost veered off the road and into the Grand Wayne Center. I'm looking forward to seeing the Fort Wayne stage debut...

Paging.....

RICHARD SMOKER! (click on photo to enlarge)

The Whammy Finally Got Him. (Or, RIP Peter.)

2006-03-14T09:52:00.000-05:00

SANTA MONICA, California (AP) -- A former TV game show host and his wife were killed Monday morning when their small plane crashed into Santa Monica Bay, authorities said. Rescue crews were searching for a third person also aboard the plane.
The bodies of Peter Tomarken, 63, host of the hit 1980s game show "Press Your Luck," and his wife, Kathleen Abigail Tomarken, 41, were identified by the Los Angeles County coroner's office.
The plane was on its way to San Diego to ferry a medical patient to the UCLA Medical Center, said Doug Griffith, a spokesman for Angel Flight West, a nonprofit which provides free air transportation for needy patients.
Griffith said the pilot was a volunteer for the group. According to the FAA, the plane was registered to Tomarken and he was the pilot.

A cult TV classic....and a good guy, by all accounts. Sad.

Quality On Tap. (Or, A Cover Charge For Your Apartment.)

2006-03-14T07:32:00.000-05:00

OSLO (Reuters) - A woman thought she was in heaven when beer instead of water flowed from the taps in her apartment in west Norway.
"I turned on the tap to clean some knives and forks and beer came out," Haldis Gundersen told Reuters from her home in Kristiansund, west Norway. "We thought we were in heaven."
Beer in Norway is among the most expensive in the world with a 0.4 liter (0.7 pint) costing about 50 crowns ($7.48) in a bar.
Gundersen said she tried the beer but that it tasted a bit odd and was not fizzy.
It turned out that a worker in a bar two floors below had mixed up the pipes on Saturday evening, wrongly connecting a new barrel to a water pipe leading to Gundersen's flat. The bar got water in its beer taps.
"If it happens again I'm going to order Baileys (coffee liqueur)," she said.

The amazing thing is that no one at the bar noticed that the taps contained water....Maybe they were Bud Light taps.
It reminds me of the old joke....What do Bud Light and sex in a canoe have in common?

They're both fucking close to water......

Darwin Gets Foiled. (Or, Put The Damn Gun Somewhere Else.)

2006-03-14T07:19:00.000-05:00

ST. PAUL, Minn. - A 3-year-old boy shot his mother in the knee with a 9mm handgun he had found under a couch cushion over the weekend, police said.
It was the second time the boy had handled the gun on Sunday. The mother had taken the gun away from the child and removed the bullets - apparently overlooking one in the chamber - and put the weapon back on the couch.
When the boy picked the gun up a second time, it fired. "It appears to be accidental," said St. Paul police spokesman Pete Crum.
The woman was taken to Regions Hospital, with non-life-threatening injuries. "It could have been much more tragic had the child shot himself or hit the woman in a more vital area," Crum said.
The boy was put in the care of his father.
Authorities removed several guns from the home. Crum said they were all legal.
Police said they would forward the case to the Ramsey County Attorney's office for possible child-endangerment charges.
"There are two lessons to learn: Don't let your children play with guns. Always treat a gun as though it's loaded," Crum said.

So let me get this straight. She hid the gun IN THE COUCH. Stupid...check. Then after the kid found the LOADED GUN, she put it BACK in the couch. It's a damn shame that the bullet didn't hit the mother and kill her. That would have made for a better story...and some sort of poetic justice.

And where is the father? Not around? He needs to be tested for an IQ before the kid goes there, from the sounds of things. Darwin loses this round. They all survived.

Stupid people.

Thanks. Now Let's Do It Again.

2006-03-10T08:44:00.000-05:00

Today is day 2 of the radiothon. Over $12,ooo raised yesterday. Goal for today: $10--no, wait, $15 grand.

Keep calling. 260-918-2800. I welcome the musical challenge.

And thanks to those that have already.

PS: After meeting a couple of Make-A-Wish families yesterday, I'm even more impressed by the organization and what they do. Very cool.

*****UPDATE*****
10:15pm Friday. Still playing requests. Over $21 thousand dollars raised in the past two days for Make-A-Wish. And still more money coming in. Thanks to everyone that participated for your support.

**UPDATED UPDATE**
WITH YOUR HELP WE RAISED $21,255! (Not bad...considering the original goal was $10,000)

TO OUR LISTENERS, FORT WAYNE & OUR SPONSORS FOR MAKING THE 1ST ANNUAL MAKE-A-WISH REQUEST-A-THON A SUCCESS!

You're Caller Nine! (Or, We'll Get That Right On For You. Now Sign The Check.)

2006-03-08T15:35:00.000-05:00

What I'll be doing for the next two days. It will be worth it. 10a-7p Eastern. A minimum donation of 20 bucks gets any classic rock song we're legally allowed to play on the air for you. Think pay-for-play...without the attorneys general getting involved. We stream online at www.923thefort.com , for those of you checking in from out of town. It's all about the kids....so be a part of it, if you can afford to.

As Bartles and Jaymes, used to say, "We thank you for your support."

Van Halen; 1977-2006.

2006-03-07T11:44:00.000-05:00

Damn.....Who is that? Some homeless bag lady? No....It's Eddie Van Halen at the Elton John Oscar party this past weekend. Are those his dentures in his hand?

Jesus...First the Gary Cherone bullshit, and now this picture....It's obvious what the problem with the band is...Eddie's apparently gone 5150 for real.

When you start donating your instruments to the Hard Rock Cafe, and the singer and bass player start a band called "The Other Half", it's a good sign that the band is over.

RIP Van Halen.

Kirby Puckett, 1960-2006.

2006-03-07T11:25:00.000-05:00

KIRBY PUCKETT
MINNESOTA, A.L., 1984-1995
A PROVEN TEAM LEADER WITH AN EVER-PRESENT SMILE AND
INFECTIOUS EXUBERANCE WHO LED THE TWINS TO WORLD SERIES
TITLES IN 1987 AND 1991. OVER 12 SEASONS HIT FOR POWER AND
AVERAGE, BATTING .318 WITH 414 DOUBLES AND 207 HOME RUNS. ALSO
A PROLIFIC RUN PRODUCER, SCORED 1,071 RUNS AND DROVE IN 1,085 IN
1,783 GAMES. A SIX-TIME GOLD GLOVE WINNER WHO PATROLLED
CENTER FIELD WITH ELEGANCE AND STYLE, ROUTINELY SCALING
OUTFIELD WALLS TO TAKE AWAY HOME RUNS. THE 10-TIME
ALL-STAR'S CAREER ENDED ABRUPTLY DUE TO IRREVERSIBLE RETINAL
DAMAGE IN HIS RIGHT EYE.

From The Associated Press.

PHOENIX -- Kirby Puckett, whose bright personality outshined even his Hall of Fame performance, died yesterday in nearby Scottsdale one day after suffering a stroke. The former Minnesota Twins outfielder was 45.An official from St. Joseph's Hospital and Medical Center announced the news. The stroke occurred Sunday morning at Puckett's Scottsdale home.

Even the online editions of the local papers failed to note that Kirby Puckett was also noted for being the first person to hit a ball out of Memorial Stadium (and onto Coliseum Boulevard) during an 1994 exhibition game with the Fort Wayne Wizards (then a Twins farm team.)

Although he was later found to be as flawed as most mortals, he hit a baseball with a strength and speed seldom matched in the major leagues; and was the second youngest Hall of Famer to die (after Lou Gehrig.) Rest in peace, Kirby. You brightened lots of lives.

Life's A Beach. (Or, Sand Between My Toes.)

2006-03-06T12:14:00.000-05:00

Snow and 32 today....rain and 50's by Thursday....65 on Saturday....then back to winter again sometime late next week. The good news? The warmer temps should last through the weekend and into next week this time.

God, I miss the beach.

In an unrelated note, here's your PSA (Public Service Announcement) of the day:

A Thought For The Day.

2006-03-05T19:59:00.000-05:00

The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well.

--Horace Walpole (1717 - 1797)

Who the hell is Horace Walpole? Dunno. But John Irving quotes him in 'The World According To Garp'....that's good enough for me.