Based On A True Story.

This story allegedly happened before JQP met his lovely flower. It was told to me as true; although I can't account for its veracity, the exchange seems like a likely one to me, and those that are familiar with the characters herein.

Pastor Bob was curious about the Catholic way of doing things, so John Q. Public invited him to St. Patrick's to observe some of the Catholic customs and traditions. It had been a full week of fun, frivolity and fellowship for JQP, so he took Pastor Bob along with him to confession for moral support. Pastor Bob waited in the pews while JQP approached the confessional."Forgive me father, I have sinned, I have been with a woman.""Ah John," sighed the priest, "you have grieved the Holy Spirit. Tell me, was it Mary McCarthy?""I can't tell you, father," answered JQP, "I promised I wouldn't say, but forgive me, I have sinned, I have been with a woman.""John, this is not what you have been taught by Mother Church. Was it Debbie O'Rourke?""I can't say, father, I promised I wouldn't, but forgive me, I have sinned, I have been with a woman.""Ah, John, your poor mother and father would be heartbroken to know this. I wonder, was it Patty Donnelly?""I can't tell you, father, I promised, forgive me, I have been with a woman.""John, my son, I harboured such high hopes for you when you were an altar boy. Tell me, was it Therese Murphy?""Father, I can't say, I promised, forgive me father, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."The priest pronounced, "John Q. Public, you must say 50 Our Fathers and 30 Hail Marys.""Thank you, father," a relieved JQP acknowledged, and went back to the pews where Pastor Bob was waiting."Well, Mr. Public", Pastor Bob inquired, "what did the father say?"
To which JQP replied, "He gave me 50 Our Fathers, 30 Hail Marys and four good leads."