Monday, Monday. (Can't Trust That Day.)

Here's the mood I'm in right now.......

But to temper the effects of another Monday, I offer the following (thanks Dave at WNOX)

The Bermuda National Orchestra reports their triangle player is missing.

Queen Elizabeth has granted peerage to the man who invented the modern zipper. He will be known as Lord Of The Flies.

Two dogs will collars feel strangely uncomfortable in a bar. They notice none of the other dogs are wearing collars, and that they have inadvertently wandered into a stray bar.

Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"

The Pillsbury Dough Boy died....of a yeast infection.

A milkman joins the Masons, and then goes around giving everybody the secret milkshake.

The most valuable piece of paper in the captain's safe- says "starboard is on the right".

Commode stolen from police headquarters. Detectives say they have nothing to go on.

Political survey of nudists shows a definite swing to the left.