Not A Key West Intermezzo, But Close.

Going to see John Mellencamp next Saturday...get off the air at 2, go down and pick up traffic chick Nancy at the Indy airport, and then going to the show. Free tickets....now I remember why I like this job.

Happy Father's Day tomorrow, to all the dads out there....Ah...if only i WAS up from Indiana down to Tennessee...I could use a zerbet or two.....

Without further ado, here's your Little Bastard for The Day.....(with apologies to JQP--consider it tribute, not plagiarism.)

Peaceful World
(John Mellencamp)


Come on baby take a ride with me
I'm up from Indiana down to Tennessee
Everything is as cool as can be
In a peaceful world
People know this world is a wreck
We're sick and tired of being politically correct
If I see through it now but I didn't at first
The hypocrites made it worse and worse
Lookin' down their noses at what people say
These are just words and words are okay
It's what you do and not what you say
If you're not part of the future then get out of the way
Come on baby take a ride with me
I'm up from Indiana down to Tennessee
Everything is cool as can be
In a peaceful world
Racism lives in the U.S. today
Better get hip to what Martin Luther King had to say
I don't want my kids being brought up this way
Hatred to each other is not okay
Well I'm not a preacher just a singer son
But I can see more work to be done
It's what you do and not what you say
If you're not part of the future then get out of the way
Come on baby take a ride with me
I'm up from Indiana down to Tennessee
Everything is cool as can be
In a peaceful world
The money's good and the work is okay
Looks like everything is rollin our way
"Til you gotta look the devil in the eye
You know that bastard's one big lie
So be careful with your heart and what you love
Make sure that it was sent from above
It's what you do and not what you say
If you're not part of the future then get out of the way
Come on baby take a ride with me
I'm up from Indiana down to Tennessee
Everything is cool as can be
In a peaceful world
Lay back the top and ride with me
I'm up from Indiana down to Tennessee
Everything is cool as can be
In a peaceful world
Hey yeah
Hey yeah
Hey yeah
Hey yeah

What Do Terri Schiavo And George W. Bush Have In Common? (A Rant, As Well As A Call To Action.)

What do Terri Schiavo and George W. Bush have in common?
Let's run down the list, shall we?

Terri Schiavo--had half a brain in her head.
George W. Bush--check.

Terri--blind to the outside world.
GW--check. Unless you HAVE a check. Cash improves his vision on a lot of subjects.

Terri--Unaware of people and her surroundings.
GW--Doesn't give a damn about people, or their surroundings. Check.

Terri--Family torn apart because of the decision to let her die.
GW--LOTS of families torn apart because of his decision to let many of our soldiers die. Check.

Terri--The damage caused was irreversible.
GW--Check.

Terri--had loved ones pull the plug and let her fade away peacefully.
GW--loved ones got him into office, and work hard to keep him there till his brother's ready to take over. IF ONLY we could pull the plug....and make him fade away peacefully....
############

And to think that until this administration, I used to LIKE the Republican party....

Okay, enough of the political rant. On to a moral rant, instead.

Here's an important link for a living will (thanks, LA.) Don't be like Terri or her family. Make it easier for your loved ones. Make your wishes known.

Oh, and if you haven't already, become a donor, too. Here's a link for that.

No one's promised tomorrow....but we can help promise tomorrow will be better for others. Do it today, dammit. For your family...and people you'll never even meet. It's your best shot at immortality in a world with a limited attention span.

He'd Be 63, If He Weren't Dead. (A Happy Birthday Beatle Paul Thought Of The Day.)

In the end, the love you take
Is equal to the love you make.
-- Paul McCartney


The last line, of the last song, of the last Beatles album ever recorded. Hope I can go out with some nugget of wisdom like that.....

Working For The Weekend.

12 days down....9 hours to go. Fortunately, 4 are 'virtual'....the nice way of saying that it appears that I'm at work, but I'm not...so I don't get paid for it. Mentally, I liken it to cooking for Golden Corral....do the work, put it out there for all to enjoy, and then you can go home. No need to stick around and watch it consumed.
Weird point of view, but....
Keeps me sane that way.

Ribfest this weekend....blues, and pig. Good stuff. May save the shredded sanity I still retain. (Not to be confused with shredded pork...which I adore.)

It (the ribs and pork) would be better, of course, if it was at Calhoun's on Pellissippi Parkway at Kingston Pike...or maybe Corky's or the Rendezvous in Memphis. Even Burbank's in Sharonville. Actually, those locales would help sooth the soul, too.

Hmmm....Cincy is on the way to Tennessee. BBQ Road Trip? One of these days.....

Do You Even Know We Know. (Happy Birthday Paul.)

Today is Paul Young's birthday. He's 46. This is his biggest song. Feel free to sing along, if you know the tune. You know the tune.

EVERYTIME YOU GO AWAY
(Paul Young)

Hey!, if we can solve any problem
Then why do we lose so many tears
Oh, and so you go again
When the leading man appears

Always the same thing
Can't you see, we've got everything
Goin' on and on and on

Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you
Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you

Go on and go free, yeah
Maybe you're too close to see
I can feel your body move
It doesn't mean that much to me
I can't go on sayin' the same thing
Just can't you see, we've got everything
Do you even know we know

Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you
Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you

I can't go on sayin' the same thing
'Cause baby, cancha see, we've got everything
Goin' on and on and on

Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you
Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you

Paul also did a song called 'Come Back And Stay'....and had a minor hit with a cover of the Chi-Lites classic 'Oh Girl'. Good tunes, all.

A Thought For The Day.

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard a horse sing a song.

-- Louis Armstrong

It's Going To Be A Good Week. (Unless You're A Chicken Or A Pig.)

Tuesday night (now)...25 cent wings at Frickers.

Wednesday night...20 cent wings at the Tower Tavern.

Thursday night...20 cent wings at Peanuts Too.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday...Tasty ribs , pork and chicken meats over hickory at RibFest downtown, under the new "Last one out of town, turn out the lights"....er, i mean, Lincoln Financial (Lincoln Life) Pavillion. Expensive, but worth the splurge once a year to try samples from around the country and fellowship with fellow Hoosiers. I can't afford it, but I have free tickets to get in, so I'm gonna go listen to some blues, and hoist a bone in honor of my old friend Tuna, who used to enjoy ribs (and the occasional N'Awlyns blues) with me on a regular basis. Might look up former KFFA, Helena Arkansas radio icon George "Sonny" Hays, too. He loves the blues as well as a good dry rubbed rib, too.

Then on Monday....I hear the Big Eyed Fish has a wing special......

So it goes.
(with apologies to Kurt Vonnegut--if he ever found out his words were used in the context of barbecue, he'd either buy me a drink, or kick my ass...not sure which.)

Thoughts For The Day. (Or, All We Are Saying.)

If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal.
--John Lennon

If you tried to give rock and roll another name, you might call it 'Chuck Berry'.
--John Lennon

Just Like Anything Else, If You're Gonna Lie, Do It Big. (Or, The IHOP Chronicles.)

It was last Friday night. Chris Cord and I were sitting at the IHOP down the street from the stations. We were chatting up our delightfully attractive and personable server, who asked if we worked in radio. We confessed our transgressions; I told her I worked at the Fort, and Chris admitted to working for the new station in Auburn. About this time, an asshat at the next table says to her, "Is this the corner where you stick the radio personalities?" Chris and I looked at one another, then at him, as our waitress said, "Oh....Do you work in radio, too?" He replied, "Yes, I work at the Bear."

Now, you gotta know that I spent six and a half of the last eight years in the Federated Media North building, an average of six days a week--including five years full-time as the copywriter for the stations as well as weekends on the Bear, and nights and part-time at the Fort, along with another ten months across town at our sister stations...and Chris Cord (aka Irizarry) did nights, and afternoons on the Bear.....AND WE HAD NEVER LAID EYES ON THIS DICKMUNCH BEFORE IN OUR LIVES. To us, he was an OBVIOUS imposter. The thing is, do we call him out on it?

We decided to take the generous tack, and not mention to this butt biscuit that we knew he was a fake....until HE started chatting up our waitress with his line of bullshit. I called our young lovely over, and whispered in her ear..."That guy is a fake. He doesn't work at the Bear." Now SHE'S laughing at him, too.

After several stage-whispered putdowns, Chris decided to call him out as he was getting ready to leave. "Hey, which one are you?"

Now, this story would be complete if the guy would have had the balls to lie big. It would be thousands of times funnier if he had told us he was one of us. But he did no such thing. He squirmed a little and made a comment about 'which one? We have 102, and the Bear, and South Bend, and Chicago.' Left without giving a name...cause he knew he was shamed.

The moral of the story is: If you're gonna lie, lie big. If he had come up with a plausible story, we might--MIGHT is the key word here--have let him off the hook. But if you see a spikey short haired dude with glasses reading a textbook late at night, point and laugh at him for us, OK? Cause HE'S A FAKE--WITH NO STORY. Just an asshat trying to pick up an IHOP waitress.

The other moral of the story is: Real OR fake, radio guys DON'T get to score with the IHOP waitress. We all went home alone. **sighs**

Maybe if I told her I worked for Hot 107.9.....

How Not To Be A Nurse.

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour, surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!" The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?.

Michael Jackson Choose-Your-Own-Punchline.

Michael Jackson was found not guilty (NOT the same as innocent--ed.) today on all ten counts of child molestation.

Punchlines:

1. Taking a cue from OJ, he's vowed not to stop looking till he finds his *REAL* nose.

OR

2. Now he's going to give Macauley Culkin that killer Hummer he promised him for testifying on his behalf. Oh, and maybe a new SUV too.